Pounding

At work today, they are doing construction and I am going insane with all of the pounding. We have cinderblock type construction and so everything echos too. I don't just have to hear each pound once, but twice. My office is the closest one to the site of the construction and I think I might go insane before the day is out. Thank goodness I only have to be at this office till 1pm.

My medical school applications are almost done. I know I've been saying that for two weeks, but this time, it is really true. My essay is hard to write though. I can do fine if I am driving down the highway trying to come up with insightful things to say, but if my fingers are at a keyboard, I might as well be dead. Talk about major suckage. However, I've wanted a new cell phone for weeks and I can get one on July 1st, but my rule for myself is that I cannot get it until I am done with my applications. Hopefully that will be the final push of motivation I need.

Blondie is having a kick-ass 4th of July party this weekend. My boyfriend, after months of me badgering him, has agreed to ask for the day off, and so I might just get to have 24 hours of pure fun. Yee Haw. These days it is rare for me to get a whole day off of work. Last week I worked every single day at least 6 hours. Again, major suckage. Wow, that means that at the end of this week, I'll not have had a day off 12 days. I think I am killing myself.

Today is my last yoga class of the summer. I could sign up for another session, but I don't think I will. At this point, I have a distinct lack of time and money, so two free evenings a week will be a blessing.

Okay, back to that damn essay.

Coping Mechanisms

Yesterday I took away one of my coping mechanisms. It was one that is self destructive, but it has served me well for over a decade. Then I had a crisis that I had to deal with. Crisis + no coping mechanism = lots of crying. I panicked and had to do something. I decided that I should deal with this situation the right way instead of the wrong way. The right way being the not-so-predictable-but-less-self-destructive way and the wrong way being the decade-old-tried-and-true method.

Outcome: The crisis passed. I did not commit self destructive behaviors. The actions I had to take were more difficult than if I had gone back to the old ways but the outcome was much, much more satisfactory.

Decade-old-tried-and-true-but-self-destructive coping mechanism - I banish thee.

The greatest weekend EVER!

Last weekend was truly one of the best weekends I've ever experienced. First I went to that festival with Taz. We had so much fun just walking around town holding hands, window shopping, and me stomping him in checkers. At the festival that night, we danced. I taught him the 2-step and we tried and failed to learn how to turn doing the polka. I think we'll eventually have to take ballroom dancing lessons. When we got home, we watched Pooh's Heffalump movie. How freaking cute and discustingly romantic. :)

After hanging out all weekend with Taz, I got to see my sister-in-law and nephew. He's only 1.5 yrs old, but smart as the dickens. He can do 20 piece puzzles, he knows who beethoven and shostakovich are, and he knows where about 10 of the states are and which of his relatives live in the various states. He's a freakin' genius and the fact that he's adorible doesn't hurt his cause. The night before he left he kept saying "auntie, big hug" and giving me big hugs. An aunt really can't ask for much more than big hugs.

Work has also been interesting the last couple days. We've had some yucky characters come into our office. One guy told me he had mental health issues and he smelled like ass. I was the only one in my office willing to help him out and so I was able to get him what he needed. Yay! Then I sprayed disinfecting spray all over the office. Mega Yay! Yesterday one of our clients was almost assaulted. We had to lock the door of the office and call for police to come get the almost-assailant. It was scary, but I'm really glad we have procedures in place for these sorts of things.

I really need to finish my medical school applications soon. I'm hoping that I can get all of the transcripts, letters of rec, etc. that I need to get on Thursday and then send off at least the Texas applications by the end of the weekened. I hope to have the rest of them done by a week from Friday. Yay!

Grades have been midly upsetting this semester. I wound up with 2 A's, 1 B, and 2 C's. I guess that just goes to show that I'm about as average a student as it gets. My slightly above 3.0 is never going to change. That's what it was in high school, in college, and now law school. Perhaps I should go to a pass/fail medical school and break the 3.0 nightmarish cycle.

I had horrible dreams last night. They were so vivid and so creative that if they had been a movie, I'd probably have seen it in the theater. Crazy shit, man, crazy shit.

the Ups and Downs

There have been quite a few ups and downs lately.

First, my boyfriend didn't get the job he wanted and now I can't just follow him and use him to make decisions that I don't want to have to make. I'm sad he didn't get the job because he really wanted it, but at the same time, it does give me flexibility to pursue whatever I desire (and who the fuck knows what that is). I'm almost done with my Texas medical school applications. Yay! Then I get to start on the national application form and then do my grad school applications, the Texas bar exam application, and take the MPRE. My summer of fun is not so fun.

Tomorrow is my birthday (happy birthday to me) and I'm excited to go with Taz to this festival. I even booked a hotel room with a jacuzzi. Yay. I'm tempted to leave my phone at home, but that would be mean to all the people who try to call me and wish me a happy birthday. Plus, my parents would rip my head off if I didn't talk to them on my birthday.

I had yesterday marked off to be a bad day, but it wasn't nearly as painful as I'd thought. First I had to go to the girlie doctor, then work 6 hours at my legal-type job and then work 5.5 hrs at my easy job. I snuck out of my easy job for an hour to grab dinner with blondie (the best part of my crappy day) and then when I got home, I went strait to sleep.

Around 4am this morning, a ridiculously loud storm woke me up. It takes a lot to wake me up, so this one must have been vicious. Then I woke up to go to work and my power was off. I hope it wasn't/isn't off for too long because I have lots of good food in my fridge that I don't want to have to throw away. Talk about a waste.

Grades:

My grades this semester have been rather atrocious. I've gotten more C's and C+'s than I'd rather admit and I didn't get back anything starting with a vowel until yesterday. I was nervous that there would be no trampoline this semester to help keep me elevated. This is also bad news because this is my last semester of grades that the med schools and grad schools get to look at before they decide whether or not to accept me. :( I don't really regret the decisions I made last semester, and I'm not really sure I could have changed THAT much, but still, C's of any flavor suck.

I want a new phone. I want a camera phone. I want it now. But when I went to sprint to see what they could offer me, they said I had to wait till July 1st to get a $150 rebate and it would be stupid of me to get a new phone without the rebate. They are right, but that's not what I wanted to hear. On a side note, Best Buy has better deals on sprint phones than the sprint store. Random.

People Suck!

I'm not really sure why I am so pessimistic about people today, but lately everyone has been pissing me off. Everyone, from close friends to people driving on the street, is doing stupid things to make me angry. Sometimes I wonder if it is a conspiracy against me. I've been reclusive lately. I don't go out with friends unless they call me. I haven't initiated a social event since school ended. And I pray that people won't call and ask me to do things. Last night I went and saw a movie alone and it was the most fun I've had at the movies in a while. No one is there to judge my choice in movies, and I don't have to worry about whether the people I'm with are having fun. I also went shopping by myself recently and that was fun. And I've even been exercising alone too. Blondie likes going on walks with me but I'd just rather go alone. I don't know why. Maybe it's just a phase. I've been having control issues lately too - or rather lack of control issues.

I think I need a vacation from life.

Having a 14 hour work day in front of me is probably not helping my attitude one bit.

Long time no update...

Usually when I haven't posted in a while, it means that I'm having a great time and I don't need to vent. This past hiatus is no exception. However, I missed typing my strange thoughts onto a web page that anyone in the world could view if they so chose, so here I am - once again posting.

That attitude adjustment that I talked about last week has really changed things (or maybe it is that I'm no longer PMSing). I went on a walk yesterday with blondie and my shins didn't hurt so bad that I wanted to chop them off. I'm healed, and it feels fabulous. I can finally look forward to my walks.

This weekend I got to spend tons of time with Taz. We saw THE INTERPRETER and also saw THE LONGEST YARD. Both movies were cute and not really great. We went on a nice long walk where he met up with a girl he went to high school with. The girl had a 12 year old son and he kept cracking us up. He kept putting his entire body up to the tops of his shoulders into his shorts and walking around. He looked like a giant marshmallow. His mom was dying of embarrassment. The woman had a cute chihuahua and I've decided that I want a small dog. I probably won't be able to get one for at least 2 years. For one, I don't want to get kicked out of this apartment (they only take cats - no dogs) and two, I'm never home to take care of a dog. My little canine will have to wait.

I've been mildly productive lately. I've started a new cleaning system (www.flylady.net) and am loving it. My house is (mostly) clean. I have a schedule now of when to take out trash, when to clean Mingle's litterbox, when to water my plants (no more dead plants), and I never have more than one days worth of dishes in the sink. Yesterday I cleaned my mirrors for the first time since I moved into that apartment. I can finally see myself in the mirror. It's such a simple thing to do, it only takes a couple of minutes, and it makes such a difference. I am even keeping track of how much money I spend. Anyway, I'm happy with the new system.

I don't really have much more to say. My sister-in-law is coming to visit next week with my nephew and I get to go on a one day gettaway with Taz for my birthday. I'm greatly looking forward to both. Perhaps I'll update again when something of interest happens.