Pirate?

My pirate name is:

Mad Mary Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Didn't make it!

I was not able to convince my walking buddies to walk outside and now I have wind burn and my face is numb. On the plus side, I was able to re-live some interesting law school times. Law school has been an wild endeavor. Some of the social aspects of law school have left a lot to be desired and some of them have exceeded expectations. It is definitely amusing to think about. Sometime when I have some time, I will talk about these memories. Interestingly most of the good ones involve boys and the bad ones involve girls. Seems backwards, doesn't it?

Long Time no Blog

A lot has happened since I blogged last. I traveled across the country, ate enormous amounts of turkey, cooked my grandma's famous cookies for the family, almost burned down a comedy club, had sex on a piano, and my 2 year old nephew told me where the Baltic Sea was.

All of that is a distant memory at this point. Today I am back to the grind; working 8 hours at the library, starving myself on my new diet (not intentionally), trying to convince my walking buddies to walk inside so that I don't have to freeze my booty off, working on grad applications, studying, and going to class. I just realized that I have 6 more days of class and 12 more classes. 12 more classes and then I never have to go to another law class. Wow! I'm impressed with myself.

My grad school applications are coming. Slowly. They are 100 times easier to do than the med school applications, but my patience for applying to places is waning.

I have no money. I decided to make cutesy gifts for all my friends and give them all the same thing. It's not really because of lack of effort, but rather lack of money. I paid for my best friend to come to my law school graduation and so everyone else is going to get screwed this Christmas.

My boyfriend was supposed to come see me tonight and then he reneged. I should beat him senseless but I won't. I'm not sure why.

That white shit!

I'm being very profane lately. Perhaps I should try to be profound instead. There is a lot of white fluffy stuff coming down from the sky. The first year that I moved up north, the white stuff was novel. It was fun and exciting. The second year that I was up north, the first snow was still pretty cool. I knew it meant torture ahead, but I was still pretty pumped up about it. This year, my third, I just looked at the sky, looked at that white shit, looked back and forth, growled, grimmaced, swore, and shook my head. Now I'm just counting the days till I get to move back to Texas (36).

hate

I have the urge to rip someone's head off. I hate that I can't do anything alone; that I need assistance from people. I hate that I have no motivation and no drive. I hate that I am continually confused. I hate that others think that they know what is bothering me and where my roadblocks are. I hate that I dont know what is bothering me and where my roadblocks are. I hate that people regard as unimportant things that are important and vice-versa. I hate that I have to wait for shit. I hate that people are unreliable. I hate that people are nit-picky. I hate that I am unreliable. I hate that I am - wait, I'm not nit-picky. That I don't hate. I hate that people walk up to me and want to chat. I hate that others ignore me. I hate people. Sometimes I hate myself.

Fuck it!

The Mundane

There are 40 some-odd days until I graduate. I haven't read a case in about 2 weeks. I have senioritis to the next level. Somehow I managed to get that mid-term done and that paper, but really I think it was a fear of the lack of diploma more than anything else. This weekend is filled with parties. I am hosting most of them. Although, I've even stated that they are going to be low-key, so a clean house is really the extent of the effort I'm going to make. For some reason I've been incredibly tired. Perhaps it is the lack of sleep. Duh!

Lately I've been really into shoes. I came across some adorable black pumps. They were perfect in every way except that they were one size too small. I found some similar ones at Target, but they are twice as expensive and I can't tell if they'll feel good after I wear them for a while. I guess I'll postpone the black pump purchase for a while.

Right now I'm trying to decide how to occupy a two and a half hour break. I wanted to go see Wallace and Gromit, but it starts 15 min too early. Grrr. I don't think I'm ever going to get to see that movie. Maybe I'll actually do some of my Wills and Trusts homework. I hate Wills and Trusts. Well, I don't hate the subject matter, but I do hate the class.

Life is mundane. Too mundane. Everyday I get up and do the same things. Even the really fun things seem mundane. Maybe I'm depressed!

In a really bad mood

I don't know why, but my mood and my attitude have been rapidly decreasing for the past week. I am no longer generous and have no regrets about screwing people over or just being mean to them. I am not even trying to justify or excuse my actions.

I had a take-home midterm that was assigned two weeks ago. I didn't even look at it until yesterday at 3pm and didn't start writing it until 7am this morning. I spent an hour before class, 30 min after class, took a nap, and spent another 3.5 hrs on it. That is 5 hrs I spent writing this thing. Somehow I managed to scrape together something that made sense (I hope). I ask that the grade doesn't reflect the trench time. We shall see.

Right now I'm sitting in the library and procrastinating once again. I have a 5-6 page paper due tonight and have only written a third of it. Why am I blogging if the paper is due in less than 2 hrs. Sometimes I don't understand myself.

All I want is to drive home, pick up taco bell on the way, watch murder she wrote when I get there, and cuddle with my cat. Somehow that isn't going to happen tonight. Especially since I have to be at school at 8am tomorrow morning.

I have to ask for letters of recommendation tomorrow. I'm not excited. I have this one professor that I love, but I've never asked him for anything before. I don't have a real relationship with him and I'm nervous about asking for a recommendation. This shit needs to be in soon so I've GOT TO STOP PROCRASTINATING. That seems to be the phrase of the evening. Oh man, when am I going to learn? When am I going to learn?

I guess I should go write.

Stuff

My mom should be moved out of the ICU today. I'm really glad she is doing better and now I can't wait to go home for thanksgiving and see her. I had been dreading that trip, but now I can't wait.

My motivation for school is seriously lacking. I almost didn't go to school today. I haven't missed a class yet this semester, but this morning was close. If ABW hadn't called me to ask me something, I would have missed it for sure.

Yesterday I had an hour and 45 minute window and I wanted to go to Fashion Bug to get new jeans. My car was not available for me to use, so I took the bus. I was seriously impressed with my resourcefulness.

Right now I'm sitting in the law school lobby. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm sorta in limbo right now. I could go get lunch, I could go to the library and do some work, I could take my butt home and do some cleaning, I could go searching for friends and bug them, or I could continue to sit in the lobby till I have to be somewhere.

In Con Law today we were talking about Porn in a free speech context. One guy in the hall after class said, "If they want my porn they can pry it from my cold, dead, sticky hands." Ewwwww! I mean really. Talk about inappropriate. Of course I laughed though.

Life is much better than it was 2 days ago. I hope this trend continues.

My mom is doing better. Not much better, but a little better. Improvement at this point is all I'm going to ask for. Full recovery will come eventually.

Last night I had my first big cry since my mom got sick. Fortunately or unfortunately it occurred on the phone with my boyfriend. I think he got kinda weirded out. He kept saying, "But she's better, right?" This morning I had to send him a long apology/I-love-you/I'm-not-psycho e-mail. Hopefully that will fix things a little bit.

My med school stuff is finally done. It was done 2 weeks ago, but now it is really done. The schools have for the most part received all parts of my application and now I can just sit back and wait for the rejection - I mean - interview invitations. I'm thinking I should start hardcore on these grad school applications. Those are really my best shot.

Today I'm at work for 10 hrs. I didn't bring any school books or school stuff. The only thing I brought was my MPRE review book. It's time to really get serious about that test. It is on Friday and I haven't started studying seriously. Plus, my professor for that class blew hardcore chunks. I didn't learn a darn thing.