addicted2school

chillin'

2006-03-21T21:55:00.000-05:00

I got accepted to a new school. It is not a medical school, but somehow I think that is going to be better in the long run. I'll be happier this way. I got into a medical ethics program and will be starting work towards my masters degree in August. I'm totally pumped. Between now and August I have to wait for my bar exam results, find a decent job, and try not to let my parents drive me crazy.

Job: I got a job with a legal coding company and quit it before I even started. The temp agency I was working through got some of their info wrong and sent me downtown on the wrong day. I was so pissed that I told them to take me off the list. Now I'm working at a clothing store, enjoying the discount, and trying not to be too unhappy about the ridiculously small salary I'm making. Finding a job is hard. I am only doing the clothing gig until I get something better. I hope that is another week or two and not much more.

Bar Exam Impressions

2006-03-11T02:47:00.000-05:00

This post is long overdue. I apologize. Much has been happening in my life. I'll get to all of that in another post within a few days. For now though, the bar exam:

Day 1:

This day was a whole bunch easier than I had anticipated. In fact, I thought that this day would be the most trouble of the three and it turned out to be the least. The procedure and evidence questions were similar to the ones I had studied and although I did not know a few of the answers, there were enough that I did know to make me feel like I got the necessary points. On some of the more obscure questions I made up a rule and rolled with it. That in fact was my mantra throughout the test. If I didn't know a rule, I made one up and rolled with it. I figure my odds were about 1 in 2 that my made up rule was close enough to the actual rule to get some major points.

The practice MPT I took was tough. The one on the test seemed not as tough. I managed to finish writing it (which I heard was the most important thing) and in fact I wrote my conclusion when I had 5 minutes left and then went back to continue where I left off with the analysis. They emphasized headings on the test so I made sure my headings were sweet. That's got to count for something.

At the end of day 1, I got in my car and headed home. I didn't talk to anyone after the test to compare answers, but just got in my car and drove away. That was probably smart. I drove right to Payless shoes and bought two pairs of shoes. It was more about relieving stress than needing shoes, but give me a break - stress levels were high and shopping relieves stress. After Payless I drove the rest of the way home, did a few MBE questions and went over my PMBR notes and the BarBri multistate workshop notes. I probably didn't study more than 1.5 hrs all together that night, but it was soothing to know that my notes were in hand all night.

Day 2:

The MBE questions were nothing like the ones BarBri or PMBR gave us for practice. That pissed me off. More about this later.

For some reason the morning session of the MBE was my worst of the 5 sessions. I kept falling asleep. I must have fallen asleep 7 times during that 3 hour test. I had no adrenaline. None! There was no drive and no motivation to finish or to do well. The questions seemed easier than the ones I had practiced and therefore I didn't fell stressed. I wish they had been harder. I wish I'd had some adrenaline. I wish that I hadn't fallen asleep 7 times. But twas not the case.

During lunch I knew that something had to be different during the afternoon session. I, at the very least, had to stay awake. I went to a wings place for lunch and ordered a hamburger and 4 chicken legs. I was needing protein. I ate so much. My lunch buddy kept staring at me like I was insane. I had no idea whether or not the food would put me to sleep, but I figured I'd avoid carbs, load up on protein, and hope for the best. Oh, and I got an ice cream on the way back to the testing site. The meal was probably 2000 calories all together.

I managed to stay awake during the afternoon session and that was already magnitudes better than the morning. However, since I was more awake and alert, I started to notice that the questions were not the same as the practice questions. There were no future interest questions (okay, one EASY one). There were no questions with multiple answer choices (roman numerals and then the answer choices being combinations of the roman numerals) and I realized that they were testing things very differently from how they had tested them in the past. Here is an example: All of the nuisance questions that I had practiced (and I probably did a half dozen at least just on nuisance) were about coming to the nuisance and the elements of nuisance. However, on the actual test, they tested on the difference between public and private nuisance. I didn't review that. I did look it up later and checked out that the answer I chose was right, but that isn't the point. The point is that almost all of the questions were like that. They tested different things and things differently from past exams. Barbri and PMBR totally screwed me over for the MBE (hopefully not, but that is how it felt). I realize that is not their faults, but this copyright squabble between the board of law examiners and BarBri and PMBR is inane an I was so fucking pissed that it had to be brought to fruition during my freaking bar exam. Okay, everyone else who took it when I took it had to face the same situation, but I still felt that it was unfair.

I went home that night pissed and did not want to come back the next day. The thing that kept me from giving up right then was knowing that the national MBE people did not write day 3 of the bar exam and that I would most likely not have to deal with this situation again. I was upset. I cried. My parents tried to make me feel better, but they did not succeed. In fact, it was just about the worst evening I'd had in a very long time. I got rejection letters from 2 graduate schools that evening. My parents had a fight - a stupid fight. I was pissed at them, pissed at the MBE writers, pissed at the grad schools that rejected me, and pissed at the whole damn world. I just wanted the freaking test to be over, crawl into a hole far underground, and not come out for many months, and only if I passed the exam. It was not a good day. I was in bed by 8pm. I did not touch my notes.

Day 3:

I felt bad about not studying the night before. I used the hour before the exam started (7-8am) to cram. I read all of the morning essay questions from the last 2 bar exam administrations. They turned out to be all the wrong subjects, but it made me feel tons better. I crammed for wills and family law which turned out to be in the afternoon but got lucky with the partnerships question and the consumer rights question because I crammed for those and they were in the morning. The essay questions were hard, but not harder than I expected. I know I got some points and I know I missed some points. All in all, it wasn't too bad.

For lunch I went to a burrito place and had a yummy burrito. I also crammed for the afternoon session during lunch since I knew that wills, family law, property, and oil and gas were the only things left to study. I figure I got at least 20 points that I would not have gotten had I not crammed.

The afternoon session went well. I finished with over 1/2 hour to go. Although I was not alone. Over 1/2 of the people had left when they called 15 minutes. I was pleased with what I wrote and could not think of too many things to add as I went through the questions and answers again. I sat for 10 minutes with nothing to do. I had checked out my answers twice and could not bring myself to do it a third time. So I thought about visiting my boyfriend. I thought about getting laid. I thought about what I was going to wear when I saw him. I thought about packing for my trip. I thought about sex. I did a little "I'm going to get laid tomorrow" dance in my head and smiled. I had essentially checked out of the exam at that point. They called time, and I went home.

tomorrow is judgment day 1 of 3

2006-02-20T21:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I take my Texas bar exam. I'm hoping that this is both the first and the last time I take this test. I haven't really studied much the last 5 days. I've done a couple hours here and a couple there, probably averaging 3-4 hrs/day (and that is generous). Today I went to starbucks intending to study for a few hours. I ended up studying for 30 minutes and then shopping. I bought a dress for my mom, some ziplock baggies for the test tomorrow (any container you bring in must be see-through), and some cute jewelry. I also tried on about 100 pairs of shoes and that made me happy. I did laundry today, talked to some friends and family, managed to soak up another 2 hours of studying, and ate a homemade dinner of "brain food" thoughtfully prepared by my mom (salmon, peas, potatoes, and salad). After this here blog entry, I think I'll try to calm my nerves via a nice warm bubble bath. I'm completely wired. I've been up and down my stairs about 100 times and cannot keep still. My nerves are through the roof. Here is a conversation from earlier in the day:

ryan: ready for the test?
me: I'm not ready
me: but that doesn't really matter
ryan: its this week right
me: tomorrow is the first day
ryan: well good luck
me: gracias
ryan: is it written or multiple choice?
me: tomorrow and thurs are written, wed is MC
ryan: wow
me: indeed
ryan: when do you get the results?
me: may
ryan: thats a long time
ryan: you will be crazy and broke by then
me: no shit

So I guess that is what I have to look forward to after I finish the test. One thing at a time though. One thing at a time. *sigh*

Lonely!

2006-02-16T02:31:00.000-05:00

Today I felt lonely, but at the same time, needed to be alone. It is a weird paradox that I don't really understand. I spent the majority of the working day with my study buddy prepping for the bar exam (5 days away). I fully intended to spend another hour or two or three doing some prep work of my own, but it never happened. Instead, I drove around town searching for things that would calm me down. I've been having boyfriend and career crises over the past 48 hrs.

My first stop was at an ex's work to see if he was there. I thought his trying to pick me up would be a pick me up. He wasn't there. Then I drove past my best friend's house from middle school. It was still there. From there I went to my old church to sit and meditate for an hour. I've given up praying. My next stop was the Walmart parking lot. I had a argument inside my head weighing the potential fun and calming effect that shopping would have and the immorality of shopping at walmart. Morality won out tonight. That led me to the McDonald's drive through for a sundae. The chicken soup I'd had for dinner on my ill father's behalf didn't fill me up. My last stop was the neighborhood park to eat my sundae and listen to the top ten at 10p. On some level, that insane bout of hopping around town may have done more for my bar exam score than doing 50 or 60 multiple choice practice questions. I feel more focused and calm and have all day tomorrow to practice MBE questions.

My advice and insight about relationships for today is this: Learn from your mistakes! Make as many new mistakes as is necessary, but never repeat one. That's just a waste of time.

How come I can't sleep anymore? Lately I've been going to bed at 12p, waking up at 8a and only sleeping 3 or 4 hours of those 8. It is truly annoying.

Will God hate me if I've given up on him? On some level I feel like we never could communicate. It is like we didn't speak the same language and on top of that, we don't even use the same media for communication. I tried and tried and tried to "get it". When is it right to just give up? I've been trying for a quarter of a century. That is an awful long time. If someone tried to get me to talk to them for a quarter of a century, and I kept ignoring them, I would wonder if they were retarded or stalking me. Or maybe if I was evil, I'd continue to watch and laugh at their frustration. Which is God doing with me?

10 days

2006-02-11T01:23:00.000-05:00

The bar exam is officially 10 days away. Of course there are always the same conflicting feelings. I'm glad that it's only 10 days away. That means that I get to start having fun in 13 days. On the other hand, I'm not quite sure that I'm 10 days away from knowing everything I should know (or even 67.5% of what I should know). The 67.5 isn't arbitrary. It's what I need to get right on the bar to pass. I have been counting down the days till I get to go back to school and see Taz and my friends. I've also been having fantasies of staying up there for a whole month, mooching off friends (for places to sleep) and generally being unproductive except for a steady, unmotivated job search. Did I mention that I don't really want a job?

So I think medical school is officially not an option. I've gotten more rejection letters than I care to admit and no interviews. I'm not really sure why, but I really can't be too upset. I mean I do have a law degree and medical school would mean I'd be in school for at least another 7 years. Who needs that? So now I'm down to grad school or job. I'd say my chances at grad school are about 50/50 and so the job search is going to have to happen whether I'm ready for it or not. The real world sucks, man!

I wish I could say that I've been regularly studying for the bar and that I'm saturating my life with Texas legal knowledge, but that would be a lie. Instead I have gallivanted off to Oregon to see my brother, gone wedding dress shopping with and for a friend, read a couple mediocre books, and socialized a bit too much. Don't get me wrong. I have been studying, just not as much as I probably should. I have gone to every single BarBri class (Oil and Gas and Consumer Rights twice cause they were over my head), every single PMBR class, and been studying with a partner about 1/2 the days. But I'm still way far behind.

Here are some bar exam study tips I'd suggest. First, take every single law school class that is tested on your state's bar exam. Learning this stuff in 6 weeks is just not fun. I am having to learn the following subject matters without prior course work for my exam:

Tax
Community Property
Secured Transactions
Bankruptcy
Consumer Rights
Family Law (I took one in school, but not the right one)
Oil and Gas

This is all on top of all the Texas nuances I have to learn. A friend taking the bar exam in Illinois said to me that all of the BarBri lecturers there continuously make fun of Texas and their need to have unique laws to make themselves stand out. To that I say FOOEY!!!

When you are done taking all the classes you need, make sure you take PMBR. The class is awesome. If not for the lectures (which aren't bad but aren't great), for the sample questions they have. They basically go into the exam, take the multistate, and spend a significant portion of the exam time (1/3) memorizing questions so that they can provide you with questions. Not to mention that 35% of the questions on the mulitstate are repeats. That means if you get lucky, and PMBR is on top of their game (which they seem to be), you could have 20% or more of the multistate questions in your possession before you even take the exam. That's some pretty cool shit! They have been sued 2 or 3 times by the bar examiners for copyright infringement which means that their questions have got to be pretty darn close to the real thing.

The last thing that I think is really important is scoping out the exam site. Drive there, time how long it takes to get there, get a hotel room nearby if necessary, figure out where you are going to get lunch, park, and generally scope it out so that you can visualize how things are going to go at exam time. I think that my trip to the exam site has considerably reduced my stress level.

Other than those three suggestions, just make sure you study lots and don't go insane. Although, you should keep in mind that I have not yet taken or passed the exam, so this advice is fairly worthless - at least for the time being.

Now I should really go to sleep. I've wasted enough study time blogging.

BarBri

2006-01-08T23:49:00.000-05:00

I have been attending Bar Review classes since December 27th and haven't felt that they were blog-worthy yet. That's not really a good sign.

The first week I had to play catch up and went to 7 hrs worth of classes instead of just 3 and a half. I was excited during week two when my schedule was a bit lighter. I found a nice group of people to sit with and someone brings breakfast for the rest every morning, so I always get to look forward to good food. That makes bar review class almost bearable. Last time, this girl from Mexico brought in a Christmas bread with a baby Jesus cooked into it. If you found the baby you were supposed to buy the bread the next year. So not only did I get to enjoy a secured transactions lecture, but I got a little slice (no pun intended) of Mexican culture. Not too shabby.

I have been doing multiple choice questions everyday. So far I haven't been able to do more than 60 in one day. I've got to work up to 150 eventually. The stupid exam has 200, so I've got to be mentally prepared to do that many. Blech!

My dad has been urging me to get a study group together. That's not the easiest thing to do when you come from out of state and don't know a soul taking the bar. I asked one girl if she'd study with me, and she said she'd really like to. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is not at my level of knowledge, but my dad said that studying with people who knew less than you did would help you out because if you can explain it to that person, then you can explain it on the exam. He's not usually wrong, so I'll trust him on that one.

I have been teaching my mom the internets. I got her set up with online banking today and got her a yahoo e-mail address. She has already gotten 2 e-mails and no spam so far. I hope that she takes an interest. She has been rather isolated from the rest of the world since she retired. I think this would keep her mind sharp. Plus, if she ever wanted to get a part time job, computer skills would make her more marketable.

I've been having very weird and very vivid dreams lately. I don't like some of them and I wish they'd stop. In one dream, Taz and I broke up and had a screaming fight. I was so shaken up by the dream, that I had to call him up after I woke up to make sure that we were still okay. I had another dream that involved a landscape of squid and the making of calamari (which I can't stand).

Well it's time to go to bed. It's just after 11pm and I'm all tuckered out. I guess that's what being lazy, having one (busy) friend in town, and doing nothing but studying all day will do to you. I am living a sad life. I can't wait till Feb 23rd. Yay for finishing the bar exam. Not-so-yay for preparing for the bar exam. But yay for passing the bar exam, so I guess yay for preparing the bar exam.

Happy 2006?

2006-01-01T02:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight, as I was driving home from my new years celebration, I had to drive through some very thick fog. For some reason, it felt like a foreshadowing of what is to come this year. I felt lost, a little misdirected, and perhaps some confusion as well. I have no idea what this year is to bring. Never before in my life have I been in this state of limbo at the new year. Wait, the pope just got rid of limbo. Now what?

My one new years resolution this year is to limit procrastination. There are a lot of things that have been on my new years resolution list for more years than I'd like to admit. I should start working on those things. Procrastination is my problem. No more!

I've moved!

2005-12-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

It has only been 8 days since I blogged last but those 8 days were filled to the brim with changes. I had an entry in mind a few days ago, telling everyone about how much I accomplished in 36 hours. But that entry is way overdue and no longer needs writing.

I have graduated from law school! I have really graduated from law school! No, Really! I graduated from law school! Sometimes it's hard for me to believe. Being in Texas isn't just for Christmas break. It is indefinite. I haven't missed law school yet, but I have missed some of the people there.

I managed to finish up my last take-home final from 3a-6a the day it was due. Having family in town, I just didn't have any other time. It was awful, but as long as it gets me a passing grade, it doesn't really matter.

My drive home to Texas was uneventful and with a cross country drive in a 13 year old car, that is all you can ask. A friend from college made the drive with me. Even though she was there, I did all the driving myself. I just wanted to. I managed a whirl-wind move (5 hrs flat) out of my apartment (thanks to ABW, Blondie, and her BF) and then drove 8 hrs to spend the night at my brother's house. I fed the cat and brought in the mail and had a free place to sleep. It definitely cut down on the cost of my drive home. Then the next day, I drove from St. Louis to Dallas (7a-6p) and spend 4 hours in Dallas having dinner with a friend from college. It was her birthday and I thought it would be really nice to stop by. I decided then that I just wanted to make it home. I drove from 10-1:30a and dropped off my friend in College Station and then did the last 1.5 hr stretch. I got home at 3am on Christmas morning.

Christmas was rather quiet. It was just me and my parents. We opened the few (very few) gifts that were under the tree, I made a trip to my storage unit to drop off my stuff, and then unpacked my car. My mom cooked a tough and dry goose and I finished 2 more of my grad school applications (just 1 left).

I really miss Taz. I think that I'm going to go ahead and book a trip up to see him in Feb. right after the bar exam. I love him and I feel like the only way we are going to stay together is if I make some efforts to make that happen. The plane ticket there is expensive for someone who has no income, but I did work a whole lot the week before school ended, and maybe that paycheck will cover it (I don't get paid till the 1st).

I haven't started job hunting, but that will come. Maybe I can do a whole bunch of it while I'm visiting Taz since I'll have access to a free printer and can send out a whole bunch of letters, resumes, and transcripts. Yay! That'll be the new plan!

this pretty much sums it up

2005-12-18T00:42:00.000-05:00

This is a great example of what happened to my medical school applications. It seemed reflective of my whole med school application process this year. It is an IM conversation between myself and a guy I asked to write me a letter of recommendation.

recommender: eeeek
me: hola
me: how are you?
me: eeeeek?
recommender: im ok at the moment
recommender: but i suck
recommender: i got so caught up in the end of the semester and some other issues
recommender: i completely forgot about your letter
me: oh
recommender: is it too late
me: um, I think it might be for some schools, but not others
me: I'd have to check the details
recommender: i will do it tomorrow
recommender: sorry
recommender: my dads girlfriend has had some bad health problems
me: well I appreciate your efforts
me: that's no good
me: is she not doing well?
recommender: i just now got around to clearing out old emails
recommender: and went omg
recommender: what a dumb ass
me: shit happens
me: life happens too
recommender: shes doing fine now but the cancer has spread to her limp nodes
me: that doesn't sound hopeful
recommender: its not
me: cancer is very scary
recommender: at this point its just a count down
recommender: only god has the clock
me: yup
recommender: i want them to go on a cruise
me: that would be cool
recommender: just cause i want to go on one some day
recommender: sorry i let you down
recommender: will get on it in the morning
me: shit happens. I understand
me: and thanks
recommender: gnight
me: nite

What law school has taught me about grades...

2005-12-17T10:57:00.000-05:00

Grades are not worth the paper they are printed on or the space they take up in cyber-world.

I have 2 friends who don't check their grades. One doesn't check them because she doesn't want to know. She assumes that if she loses her scholarship because of grades, that she'll get a letter in the mail and unless that happens, she's doing fine. The other friend doesn't check them on principle. She thinks they are bunk and I agree.

I think the worst thing about law school was the emphasis put on grades. My dad thought (and still thinks) that grades are the end-all be-all of law school; that good grades equals success. I whole heartedly disagree. I'm a week away from finishing law school and my dad is still trying to throw incentives at me for good grades. "If you make a 3.5 this semester, I'll give you $500." Fuck you, Dad! Give me $500 cause you love me or cause you are proud of me or, God forbid, because I need it. But don't try to bribe me with money. It didn't work when I was 5 and it's not going to work when I'm 25. Maybe you should give it another couple decades and try again when I'm 45.

I have had classes where my grades adequately reflected the work I put in and how much I learned. But more often than not, that wasn't the case. Whoever said that law school grades were arbitrary was 100% right.

I tend to rate my professors by how adequately I thought my grade correlated to what I learned. The bad professors never added up. The good professors pretty much gave me what I deserved. I never got below a C and I had my share of As. The end result was a solid B average. The undeserved A- I got in commercial transactions balanced out the undeserved C I got in jurisprudence. The undeserved A I got in property balanced the undeserved C+ I got in Contracts. And the quite deserved A I got in my religion class balanced out the quite deserved C I got in corporations.

So basically, grades don't mean shit. I guess my final grade point average is some sort of reflection of the overall kind of student I am, but the details just don't add up. Here is my advice to brand new law students: if you are sitting around, spending your Christmas and New Year's Eve biting your nails in anticipation of what professor scumbag is going to give you in civil procedure, your time is better spent with family, kissing your New Year's Eve date, taking down Christmas decorations, gorging yourself on gingerbread cookies, or even pruning the new bonsai tree you got for Christmas. And don't worry! If you got a C you didn't deserve from professor scumbag, you will probably get an A you also didn't deserve from another inept professor. Either way - life will go on! And in the end, the girl with the 2.5 may have the job of her dreams fall into her lap and the one with a 4.0 may never find the one she's looking for. As for me and my 3.0 - well, the jury is still out!

This is me sad!

2005-12-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

I know I've blogged about my cat a lot recently, but today I lost it. The new keeper of my cat sent me a picture of "how well he's doing". Lets just say that it didn't make me feel better. Instead it made me feel sad. Here he is in all his glory. He's the angel on the left!

I'm in the library. I have studied my little brain to sheer incapacity and now I'm just waiting for the library to shut down. It is kinda fun to watch people come and go. Finals time does interesting things to people's attitudes and appearances. Lets just say that I've not been lacking amusement.

Blondie is looking for her favorite childhood toy on e-bay. ABW is done with finals (totally not fair) and I'm trying my best to keep a tight grasp on what little sanity I have left. It would not be cool to have a mental breakdown less than a week before graduation.

I'm the boy

2005-12-16T16:14:00.000-05:00

It seems as though I'm the boy in my relationship.

Last night I sent Taz a text message that said, "When I think about you I touch myself."

His response: "Tienes mi corazon! Te quiero." In English, that translates to, "You have my heart! I want to you."

So I'm the horny one and he's the romantic. Life is strange.

He also congratulated me not long ago on not freaking out yet this finals period. He said that last semester he was tempted to put me in an institution. Law school does fuck with your head, I must admit!

Back to outlining wills and trusts.

Crispy Fried Goodness

2005-12-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

I have had a craving for Long John Silvers hush puppies for about 48 hours. I was going to go last night but I got out of my movie too late. So tonight was it. I got outside and the weather wasn't so great. The roads had a thin coating of snow and with my tires being bald, I really wasn't having fun driving. Oh, and Long John Silvers is WAY across town. It's like 6 miles away. So anyway, I decided that it was too yucky outside to drive 6 miles to get fast food. So I went to Wendy's instead. Except they were closed. What Wendy's closes at 10pm? So on I traveled to LJS.

It took me over 20 minutes to get back from the restaurant. But when I got back, I devoured my fried fish and hush puppies like there was no tomorrow. It was totally worth the 40 minutes of treacherous driving. YUM!

Okay, back to studying wills and trusts!

Exam Time

2005-12-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first of two major exams this semester. I'm glad it is over. Really, exams don't stir me up like they do to some people. I just take things in stride. You know what you know and there is nothing you can do about it after a certain point. I'm always most relaxed an hour before the exam and just before the exam, I am hyper as all hell. Nothing can calm be down.

Yesterday, before my exam at 1pm, I took my car into the dealership to get fixed and walked back home from the dealership (in 20 degree weather). Then, I did the reverse to pick it back up a couple hours later. I made myself a nice big breakfast with sausage, eggs, and muffins. I also managed to clean up my apartment for my boyfriend's visit after the exam. In fact, the only thing I didn't do was study for my final.

There have been some interesting stories about finals so far and it is only the 2nd day. First, I was wondering around the school yesterday, trying to find a friend. I rode up the elevator with this guy who smelled like vomit. Gross! Then this morning I heard about a girl who passed out and then vomited after an exam. Now, the exam she was taking was my first semester civil procedure exam. She and I even had the same prof. What kills me is that she didn't pass out and vomit before hand. Then at least she could have gotten more study time. The third story is about this guy who asked me whether or not it would be ethical to fuck with people's minds before the exam in order to psych them out and lower the overall curve so he could get a better grade. Apparently there are a couple chicks in his class who like him and a couple of dudes who like the chicks. He wanted to, before the exam, ask the girls if they wanted to grab lunch after the exam. This would distract the girls during the exam and then piss the guys off too, thereby distracting them. That is some funny shit. I hope it works out for him.

My next final isn't for another week. It is nice to have the long break in between exams, but it doesn't provide the pressure that I work best under.

Tonight my cat is officially not going to be mine anymore. Sure, I know where he is going to live in a big huge house and he is going to a great family who already knows and loves him, but that doesn't make it okay. It makes it better, but not okay!

A Texas Moment

2005-12-09T13:15:00.000-05:00

I went to Hobby Lobby today. I love that place. Anyway, I was checking out the sign and got all excited. They had decorated the letters for the Holidays to look like they had snow on them. How'd they do that?

Oh wait - It's real. Doh!

To Everyone:

2005-12-08T17:53:00.000-05:00

You don't have to be such a bitch all the time!

Life

2005-12-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

I survived driving in my first snow storm. I went to a showing of the Nutcracker this weekend and when I came out of the theater, my car was covered in 2 inches of snow. To make matters worse, I had a 50 mile trip back home and it never stopped snowing. Fortunately I was patient enough to drive slowly and had good company to keep me entertained.

The show was really good. I was impressed. However, I realized that I am a concert snob. There were people behind me who obviously had a son in the show. I kept hearing things like, "he said he was coming in from the left", "that's him in the hat", "he spent so many hours preparing for this", "that scene made the whole thing worth it", "this is my favorite part", "wow, he's doing really well", and "I heard this scene is awesome". To add to my misery, there was a 4 year old who never stopped moving or babbling and an old man next to me kept unwrapping candy from plastic cellophane. I wanted to strangle all of them. I kept thinking to myself that this was a great show, but I wish I could have heard the orchestra.

Things and people are pissing me off.

Next Monday I am giving away my cat. I'm very sad. I know he's going to be in a great home, but I will miss him more than most of the people I've met in law school (not all, but 99%).

Somehow in the last 90 days I have become bitter. I should be overjoyed that I am graduating, but instead, I am pissed at everyone and everything.

My bioethics prof who agreed to write me letters of rec is MIA and I'm so pissed about it that I can't bear to write out the details. All I have to say is that he is a minister and he's the only one who has fucked me over thus far. The situation isn't bringing me any closer to God and I've got a long road to travel anyway.

Both of my brothers are coming for my graduation. They happen to be two of the very most important people in my life and I am so incredibly happy that they are coming. It'll be really nice to have everyone else there too, but my brothers *sigh* are special.

My house is a shambles. I am trying to throw stuff away and making lists of who is getting what from my house. I can only take back to Texas what fits in my car and I have a very small car. So basically I am taking my law books and some clothes. Everything else is expendable and I have to find a home for it.

Nerds are yummy (the candy kind)!

I should be so grateful for what I have in life. I'm strapped for cash, but I have a savings account that could last me 4 months. I am graduating from law school which means I'll be more educated than most in this country. I always feel like I'm missing so much, but then I talk to people and I realize that I honestly have an amazing amount. I am talking to a friend online. He couldn't make it through law school, he couldn't hack it as a substitute teacher, he's living with his parents who want him out, he has no friends, he is suffering from depression, and the one thing that means anything to him in the world isn't proving to have any satiable value. I'm just the opposite. I have (essentially) made it through law school, I could hack it in the real world when I was out there trying, I am moving back in with my parents and they can't wait to have me, I have a lot of very wonderful friends, I'm generally happy, and the one thing that means more to me than anything else in the world proves satiable almost every time I turn to it.

So why am I not smiling?

Season 2 of Murder She Wrote came out on DVD this week. It's on my Christmas list. Whoop!

Fish or Cut Bait

2005-12-01T22:55:00.000-05:00

Talking to my dad is always a trip. Tonight we talked about my future. He told me that I often sell myself short, that I thought too little of myself, and that I was actually fairly intelligent. He said I should expect to make over 80K and that I shouldn't settle for anything less than 50K. I also pointed out that I might have to be the breadwinner in my family.

Speaking of family, he asked about mine and Taz's future. Um.....yeah....I don't know. He said that pretty soon one of us would have to fish or cut bait: hook, line, and sinker. I'm hoping for fish. However, if cutting bait is in my future, I'd rather it be sooner than later and I'd rather it be hook, line, and sinker rather than just the wriggly worm. You know, I don't really fish very often and I've never seen my dad fish, so why the fishing analogies?

Back to work.

Pirate?

2005-11-29T19:22:00.000-05:00

My pirate name is:

Mad Mary Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Didn't make it!

2005-11-29T17:14:00.000-05:00

I was not able to convince my walking buddies to walk outside and now I have wind burn and my face is numb. On the plus side, I was able to re-live some interesting law school times. Law school has been an wild endeavor. Some of the social aspects of law school have left a lot to be desired and some of them have exceeded expectations. It is definitely amusing to think about. Sometime when I have some time, I will talk about these memories. Interestingly most of the good ones involve boys and the bad ones involve girls. Seems backwards, doesn't it?

Long Time no Blog

2005-11-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

A lot has happened since I blogged last. I traveled across the country, ate enormous amounts of turkey, cooked my grandma's famous cookies for the family, almost burned down a comedy club, had sex on a piano, and my 2 year old nephew told me where the Baltic Sea was.

All of that is a distant memory at this point. Today I am back to the grind; working 8 hours at the library, starving myself on my new diet (not intentionally), trying to convince my walking buddies to walk inside so that I don't have to freeze my booty off, working on grad applications, studying, and going to class. I just realized that I have 6 more days of class and 12 more classes. 12 more classes and then I never have to go to another law class. Wow! I'm impressed with myself.

My grad school applications are coming. Slowly. They are 100 times easier to do than the med school applications, but my patience for applying to places is waning.

I have no money. I decided to make cutesy gifts for all my friends and give them all the same thing. It's not really because of lack of effort, but rather lack of money. I paid for my best friend to come to my law school graduation and so everyone else is going to get screwed this Christmas.

My boyfriend was supposed to come see me tonight and then he reneged. I should beat him senseless but I won't. I'm not sure why.

That white shit!

2005-11-16T20:01:00.000-05:00

I'm being very profane lately. Perhaps I should try to be profound instead. There is a lot of white fluffy stuff coming down from the sky. The first year that I moved up north, the white stuff was novel. It was fun and exciting. The second year that I was up north, the first snow was still pretty cool. I knew it meant torture ahead, but I was still pretty pumped up about it. This year, my third, I just looked at the sky, looked at that white shit, looked back and forth, growled, grimmaced, swore, and shook my head. Now I'm just counting the days till I get to move back to Texas (36).

hate

2005-11-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

I have the urge to rip someone's head off. I hate that I can't do anything alone; that I need assistance from people. I hate that I have no motivation and no drive. I hate that I am continually confused. I hate that others think that they know what is bothering me and where my roadblocks are. I hate that I dont know what is bothering me and where my roadblocks are. I hate that people regard as unimportant things that are important and vice-versa. I hate that I have to wait for shit. I hate that people are unreliable. I hate that people are nit-picky. I hate that I am unreliable. I hate that I am - wait, I'm not nit-picky. That I don't hate. I hate that people walk up to me and want to chat. I hate that others ignore me. I hate people. Sometimes I hate myself.

2005-11-15T08:41:00.000-05:00

Fuck it!

The Mundane

2005-11-09T16:04:00.000-05:00

There are 40 some-odd days until I graduate. I haven't read a case in about 2 weeks. I have senioritis to the next level. Somehow I managed to get that mid-term done and that paper, but really I think it was a fear of the lack of diploma more than anything else. This weekend is filled with parties. I am hosting most of them. Although, I've even stated that they are going to be low-key, so a clean house is really the extent of the effort I'm going to make. For some reason I've been incredibly tired. Perhaps it is the lack of sleep. Duh!

Lately I've been really into shoes. I came across some adorable black pumps. They were perfect in every way except that they were one size too small. I found some similar ones at Target, but they are twice as expensive and I can't tell if they'll feel good after I wear them for a while. I guess I'll postpone the black pump purchase for a while.

Right now I'm trying to decide how to occupy a two and a half hour break. I wanted to go see Wallace and Gromit, but it starts 15 min too early. Grrr. I don't think I'm ever going to get to see that movie. Maybe I'll actually do some of my Wills and Trusts homework. I hate Wills and Trusts. Well, I don't hate the subject matter, but I do hate the class.

Life is mundane. Too mundane. Everyday I get up and do the same things. Even the really fun things seem mundane. Maybe I'm depressed!

In a really bad mood

2005-11-07T22:06:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but my mood and my attitude have been rapidly decreasing for the past week. I am no longer generous and have no regrets about screwing people over or just being mean to them. I am not even trying to justify or excuse my actions.

I had a take-home midterm that was assigned two weeks ago. I didn't even look at it until yesterday at 3pm and didn't start writing it until 7am this morning. I spent an hour before class, 30 min after class, took a nap, and spent another 3.5 hrs on it. That is 5 hrs I spent writing this thing. Somehow I managed to scrape together something that made sense (I hope). I ask that the grade doesn't reflect the trench time. We shall see.

Right now I'm sitting in the library and procrastinating once again. I have a 5-6 page paper due tonight and have only written a third of it. Why am I blogging if the paper is due in less than 2 hrs. Sometimes I don't understand myself.

All I want is to drive home, pick up taco bell on the way, watch murder she wrote when I get there, and cuddle with my cat. Somehow that isn't going to happen tonight. Especially since I have to be at school at 8am tomorrow morning.

I have to ask for letters of recommendation tomorrow. I'm not excited. I have this one professor that I love, but I've never asked him for anything before. I don't have a real relationship with him and I'm nervous about asking for a recommendation. This shit needs to be in soon so I've GOT TO STOP PROCRASTINATING. That seems to be the phrase of the evening. Oh man, when am I going to learn? When am I going to learn?

I guess I should go write.

Stuff

2005-11-02T11:09:00.000-05:00

My mom should be moved out of the ICU today. I'm really glad she is doing better and now I can't wait to go home for thanksgiving and see her. I had been dreading that trip, but now I can't wait.

My motivation for school is seriously lacking. I almost didn't go to school today. I haven't missed a class yet this semester, but this morning was close. If ABW hadn't called me to ask me something, I would have missed it for sure.

Yesterday I had an hour and 45 minute window and I wanted to go to Fashion Bug to get new jeans. My car was not available for me to use, so I took the bus. I was seriously impressed with my resourcefulness.

Right now I'm sitting in the law school lobby. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm sorta in limbo right now. I could go get lunch, I could go to the library and do some work, I could take my butt home and do some cleaning, I could go searching for friends and bug them, or I could continue to sit in the lobby till I have to be somewhere.

In Con Law today we were talking about Porn in a free speech context. One guy in the hall after class said, "If they want my porn they can pry it from my cold, dead, sticky hands." Ewwwww! I mean really. Talk about inappropriate. Of course I laughed though.

Life is much better than it was 2 days ago. I hope this trend continues.

2005-11-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

My mom is doing better. Not much better, but a little better. Improvement at this point is all I'm going to ask for. Full recovery will come eventually.

Last night I had my first big cry since my mom got sick. Fortunately or unfortunately it occurred on the phone with my boyfriend. I think he got kinda weirded out. He kept saying, "But she's better, right?" This morning I had to send him a long apology/I-love-you/I'm-not-psycho e-mail. Hopefully that will fix things a little bit.

My med school stuff is finally done. It was done 2 weeks ago, but now it is really done. The schools have for the most part received all parts of my application and now I can just sit back and wait for the rejection - I mean - interview invitations. I'm thinking I should start hardcore on these grad school applications. Those are really my best shot.

Today I'm at work for 10 hrs. I didn't bring any school books or school stuff. The only thing I brought was my MPRE review book. It's time to really get serious about that test. It is on Friday and I haven't started studying seriously. Plus, my professor for that class blew hardcore chunks. I didn't learn a darn thing.

The good is really good and the bad is worse than a nightmare

2005-10-31T17:50:00.000-05:00

I had a really good weekend. Well, sorta! I learned how to change the air filter in my car. I went to my belly dancing class. I got my bar application in the mail. I studied for the MPRE. I went to a Halloween party. I watched Zorro (a really dumb but cute movie). I made some yummy Indian food. I went canoeing (so much freaking fun). The trees were all pretty colors. I had really good company. The weather was amazing. I apparently can't make compound sentences today. So the bad....

My mom almost died yesterday. It's not really something I should be blogging about - it seems too significant for that - but I also haven't really told anyone. I need to get my feelings in check. The whole thing scared the shit out of me and I just didn't want to talk to anyone about it. She is still in the ICU, but apparently is a lot better. It scares me to think what might have happened if my brother hadn't been there. My mom is alone a lot nowadays because my dad travels a lot. My dad was out of town again this week but thankfully my brother was there. Anyways, she was doing so badly that my doctor-brother was scared for her life. He thought that her chances really weren't that good. My other brother - the one who was with my mom - told me this morning that he was scared all day. He told me that today he could finally have a conversation with her again. You know, the details aren't important. What is important is that she is doing better.

So like I said, the bad was really bad. My mom can't die. I'm not ready for that.

Also, I had some issues with my long-distance relationship. It is becoming harder and harder for me to be apart from Taz. Yesterday I just needed a hug. I couldn't get it. I couldn't justify driving 2 hrs (1 there and 1 back) just to get a hug. And he wasn't willing to do it unless I "really needed him". Well what does "really needed him" mean? I really wanted him. I suppose I didn't need him because I survived not seeing him but that's not really the point. Long distance relationships SUCK!

Just writing all of this has worn me out. I can’t think. I can’t concentrate. I certainly can’t think about all this. My stability is nonexistent. Tears can flow at the drop of a hat. I don’t want people to know because I don’t want people to ask. That will just make me break down. I’m tired. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything. Now I don’t even want to blog.

I'm not sure how...

2005-10-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how, but it took me all day to get very few things done. I had to ask for an additional letter of recommendation for medical school and send the guy the appropriate information. I had to order graduation announcements. I had to fill out the graduation form so that my school knows what to say about me as I walk across stage. I had to request an application packet from one of the grad schools. I had to pay some parking tickets. And that is really all I got done. I managed to fill out most of the bar application (it surprisingly only took be about an hour) and will hopefully mail it off on Thursday. I still need to call a couple former employers and try to get my dates of employment and names of supervisors. One word describes this whole process. YOWZA!

I'm supposed to give a presentation today for my ethics class and I haven't been able to focus on it for more than 5 minutes at a time. I've already done all the research and it only has to be about 2 minutes long, but I can't seem to muster the energy. Blech! Plus I've lost my voice, so really, my presentation will consist of me passing out a handout, reading from it, and having everyone try to ignore the squawking as they read it. Life is interesting
.

Violence in movies

2005-10-24T10:11:00.000-04:00

Today in Con Law we are talking about freedom of speech. We have talked about obscenity and fighting words. My Con Law professor is a big advocate of censoring violent video games and movies from kids. I, oddly enough, agree. I know the view is not a popular one, but after seeing "A History of Violence" I had a really vivid and violent dream. I dreamt that I shot a burglar and that the witnesses and police were joking about it as I sobbed uncontrollably from the shock of the killing. I could feel the gun recoil and hear the sound of the bullet meeting his flesh. I have to say it was about the most disgusting thing I have experienced recently. Violent movies are bad.

I just recently spent an hour searching The Facebook. I posted a couple notes, read some messages, found out that one of my former romantic interests has a cute girlfriend (not fair) and added another former romantic interest to my list of friends. All in all a non-productive way to spend an hour, but I had lots of fun.

I haven't read for my wills and trusts class in over a week and don't really care. My motivation is flying out the window. It gets worse and worse with every e-mail I get detailing some aspect of graduation. This is senioritis to the next level.

On a plus note, I finally got my medical school applications done. The whole thing stressed me out too much. Now I have to get my bar application done. It is due Oct 31st I believe and then I get to start on my grad school applications. I'm hoping that they are less intense to fill out. I am only applying to 4 schools, but it is still going to be some work to coordinate letters of recommendation and such.

I found out that one of my best friends got an interview for vet school. I am really proud of her, but a little bit jealous that she's got an interview and I don't.

I am taking the MPRE next weekend. I've got this weekend set aside to do the bar application and then all next week I get to do MPRE questions. I don't have time for school and honestly don't care much about it. My brain is slipping so badly that I had to turn in a paper today via e-mail. I finished it around 5pm and then forgot to send it out until just before midnight. That is insanely pathetic.

Of course this academic panic/apathy follows a weekend of fun. This weekend I did the following things:

My first Karaoke - "Think" by Aretha Franklin. And I did it badly because I was sick.
I threw my bra onstage at a bar. The performer was asking for bras, so it wasn't completely random.
Corn Maze.
Cider Mill.
Wine Tasting.
Haunted House where I was groped by a very drunk guy.
Haunted Hayride.
I danced with a homosexual with no rhythm.
Romantic breakfast where Taz and I had our first date.

And somewhere in there I managed to work all day Friday (8a-4p), go to a 5 hour MPRE review Saturday morning, drive an hour each way to see my boyfriend, and spend most of Sunday in the library (over 5 hrs). I realize that some people would die from this kind of hectic schedule, but I find that I thrive on it. I'm only MILDLY sadistic.

The last time I'll ever be nice...or stupid!

2005-10-19T14:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I donated a whole bunch of books. I carried them in plastic grocery bags. I had 5 full bags and they were heavy. By the time I dropped them off, my fingers were numb. One has not recovered almost 24 hours later. I have a numb finger. How fucking weird is that? Fortunately it doesn't impede my progress at all, but it does feel strange.

Today I'll be done with my med school aps. I only have 2 left and although I do have to write a bit more, they shouldn't take me too long. I'll do it while I am watching the baseball game tonight. Go Astros!

Last night I got sick. I was dead sick. My nose was dripping and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I had been run over by an 18 wheeler. I felt even worse this morning and had to have a 20 minute pep talk before I could get out of my bed. The odd thing is that I felt 100 times better as soon as I was up and had blown my nose. I have felt pretty much really good all day up until just a few minutes ago. I was supposed to go see taz tonight, but I don't want to get him sick and I should get more work done, so I'll just wait and see him some other time.

My brother and I love to talk trash about baseball. He's routing for the cardinals and of course me for the Astros. Here is an e-mail exchange after the 5th game (Pujols got a homer in the top of the 9th to put them at 1 ahead - we didn't recover).

Me to him:

"Pujols ain't got nothin. He just got lucky and that luck is about to run out. Go 'stros!"

Him to me:

"You suck, the astros suck, and pettitte certainly sucks. Cards all the way. I'm going to send Eckstein over to your apartment to give you a noogie. Or perhaps an indian sunburn."

"I had some nice flashbacks the other night going through my baseball cards (which aren't worth crap these days). Found the card that I had Nolan Ryan autograph (now he's gained a bit of weight, hasn't he)... Rookies back then are veterans now. It's been a long time, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for the Astros, and it would be very exciting if they made it to the world series for the first time EVER."

"Too bad they are about to get whupt."

Man I love baseball. Okay, time to leave work, take a nap, and try to kick some of this virus' butt.

Work

2005-10-07T14:00:00.000-04:00

I do about 5 minutes of work an hour. The rest of the time I sit in front of a computer and wait for work to present itself. My boss comes in to check on me about twice a day. It is statistically highly improbable that my boss will check on my while I'm doing actual work. Today I was victorious. I fucking rule!

On a dimmer note, I have been working on this one med school secondary for over 6 hours. I just can't seem to get into this. I was going to try to have them all done today, but my revised goal is to just get this one out today. I also have to get a million passport photos. I need about a dozen for med school aps, two for the bar exam, and one for the MPRE. What is it with passport photos? Everyone wants a picture of me. I know I'm beautiful, but this is excessive.

Last night I was the laughing stock of my apartment complex. I wanted to groom my cat, but he sheds a lot and I didn't want to be breathing in cat hair for days, so I put his harness on him, took him outside and brushed away. I got so much hair off that it was blowing down the sidewalk. My neighbors looked at me like I was crazy and my cat looked at me like he wanted to kill me. But now he is all shiny and pretty and he thanked me by lying down with his butt in my face while I slept last night. You are welcome, my favorite feline, very welcome!

my wedding - or lack thereof

2005-10-07T08:40:00.000-04:00

I have this insatiable urge to get married. I'm not really sure why. Perhaps it is my friend's fault. She told me last week that she was getting married this Tuesday. It's going to be a courthouse elopement and she wants me there. That bitch and her week long engagement. This should be my wedding, not hers. So last night I talked to taz about getting married. I told him I wanted to do it and he asked me when. I'm not going to tell him when. That's for him to decide. He should be saving for the ring now, but I have a sinking feeling he's not yet started. He sounds so excited when we talk about getting married, but I've not yet seen indication that he's really ready.

On a strange note, we have decided that we will start living together on the Ides of March, 2006. We are not sure where we are going to live, but we have restricted it to the Continental US and Alaska. He thinks it's really cool that Alaska pays its citizens to live there.

Now I'm going to surf the net looking for potential jobs for him.

Ladybugs mean good luck.

2005-10-04T19:08:00.000-04:00

There is currently a ladybug climbing all over the library study room key. It ventures to the wooden key ring and the key, but its favorite part is the metal ring between the two. It must have hopped on Blondie when we went walking in the woods just now. We needed a break from life and from people so we ventured to a park where there is a nicely cleared path through the woods. The only person to bother us was an entomology person with a net and a killing jar. Thankfully he was more interested in the bugs than us though.

This week has been long already and it is only Tuesday. Yesterday I was at school and work from 9a-9:30p. Today it's from 8a-10p. I'm very tired. By the time I get home and have my hour conversation with Taz, I'm already at a net loss of sleep and that is before I decide to get up early to finish some last minute reading (which absolutely never happens - EVER). I end up snoozing from 6:30-8 or so and then the last hour and a half of my already short night's sleep is interrupted every 8 minutes. I'm really not very smart.

Taz told me that he thought love was a conscious decision and not a feeling. He says that the thing most people think is love is really lust, and love is what remains after the lust is over. I guess that's a good sign. I actually liked his philosophy. I'm not comfortable with love being a feeling. Feelings aren't concrete at all and they can change in an instant. In my opinion love is more permanent than a feeling.

More later. It's time for class.

Stripper Hands

2005-09-30T17:54:00.000-04:00

Blondie just said, "I don't have stripper hands." She was commenting on the seductive way that I put on my sunglasses. Yes, I can finally wear sunglass. This spectacle-free existence is quite nice. I'm loving it. Today I managed to spend almost 8 hours at the law school and got nothing done. Absolutely nothing. I can't really say that I'm proud of that, but it beats working my ass off. Oh wait - I did work my ass off. My slackerific job in the library didn't promise to be so slackerific today. We had meeting rooms that were double booked and instructors who didn't show. Not cool people! You'd think that all these law types would be able to sift through red tape and actually do things right, but that is apparently way too much to ask.

Right now I'm headed off to my very first ever belly dancing class. I'm so fucking excited. Oh, and I rented Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie. Don't tell anyone, but Taz says he loves to cuddle and watch Pooh movies with me. Totally romantic. So much so it makes me want to barf.

A sad, sad day!

2005-09-28T16:53:00.000-04:00

Apparently the world does not revolve around me, like I previously thought. It revolves around CK. She drew a diagram to show me.

The Bar Exam

2005-09-27T13:02:00.000-04:00

The bar exam is going to cost me almost $4,000 to take. Today I signed up for the MPRE, the PMBR, BarBri, and I applied for a loan to pay for all that shit. I found out that I have a final and my graduation during my 6 day PMBR and that I can't leave to drive home to Texas until December 23rd at 3pm. I am some how going to have to figure out how to pack, study for finals, prepare for the bar exam, and clean out my apartment all within a very limited time.

I think I'm going to have to start studying now for my finals and packing up my house. I also realized that I have 8 more weekends in town before I move (I'm not including a few weekends where I'm going to be visiting my folks and my nephews). That is completely insane. I'm going to have to come up with a schedule where I pack up a couple boxes a week and make sure that I'm outlining as classes happen.

To go back to the first topic, I'm poor. I have less than $6.00 in my checking account and less than 2 bucks in my wallet. Tomorrow I promised the girls I'd go drinking with them. Cover is 2 bucks so I'm going to have to raid my laundry jar and pay in quarters. Sad, but I'm not yet to the stage of depriving myself of fun activities. I guess I'll be the DD since that is cheaper than drinking.

Today my left eye has started twitching. Is it stress?

I decided that I was not going to prepare for my last class today. We don't have tests in that class and we aren't graded on participation, so why prepare?

Oh, and more on the subject of being poor, I am very hungry right now even though I ate homemade pot roast for lunch (yum). One of the law societies I'm in is having a meeting in a little bit and they have pizza. Yay for school providing me with free meals.

I think I need to go home and take a nice long bubble bath. Less stress is best!

Changing the Outside doesn't Change the Inside

2005-09-23T09:27:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went on a quest to change my appearance a little bit. I didn't do it because I was dissatisfied with how I currently look; I did it because I needed a change.

The first thing I did was get a haircut. Granted it was only a trim, but it felt good to get those split ends outta there. A couple months ago I switch from Pantene hair products to Suave to save a couple bucks. I guess the "Can you tell?" campaign fooled me. But then I started to notice split ends. I never get split ends, so I figured it had to be the crappy hair products I was using. So I just want to say to the Suave company: "Yes, Motherfuckers. I can tell!"

The next thing I did was go get contacts. I had wanted contacts for years and finally had the incentive to go get them. The last two times I got a new eye exam was right before I went to Europe and I didn't want to wear contacts for the first time in Europe, so I had to go without. This week I finally needed new glasses and didn't have an impending trip to Europe preventing me from getting contacts. I wish I had an impending trip to Europe, but I guess the world is full of gives and takes. The lady at the eye doctor was really nice. She was teaching me how to put in my contacts and take them out. She made me put them in, take them out, put them in, take them out, and put them in again. After the first round of put them in/take them out, I felt like I had just been through a grueling workout. It was so difficult. I almost got frustrated to the point of crying, but somehow managed to leave the office tear free. I'd not have been so lucky if I were premenstrual. I kept thinking to myself, "How can I be so smart, graduate from law school in two and a half years, be a 911 dispatcher, have a long distance relationship work for almost 2 years, and not be smart enough to put in a pair of contacts?" Well, in the end I managed to do it. I have to say that taking the contacts out last night was easier than it had been at the eye doctors. I don't know if that is because I had had practice or because I didn't have someone watching me.

Then I met up with ABW and Blondie. ABW's first comment was "cute". Then she proceeded to tell me that I needed to start wearing makeup since I was more exposed without glasses. I have to admit I was a little pissed, but that passed and I went to the store last night and got new mascara, eye shadow, and foundation (is a pressed powder still a foundation? That is how little I know about makeup). I will wear those with lip gloss, and lip stick if I'm really ambitious, but I draw the line at lip or eye liner.

Blondie's first comment was "cute" and then she proceeded to tell me that I needed to get my eyebrows waxed. Again I was pissed. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to cave on this one, but I'm leaning toward no. I like my bushy eyebrows and I don't want to add another step to my beauty regimen. So There! I'll probably cave before the end of next week. :(

So speaking of beauty regimen, my morning routine just got a lot longer since I added makeup and contacts to it. Oh, and I was told that I absolutely had to wear my hair down, so that adds another few minutes to the regimen too. This morning I had planned on getting up 15 minutes earlier to see how much of this new routine I could squeeze into 15 minutes. It didn't really turn out the way I'd have liked. Somehow I managed to oversleep and not get up until 34 minutes AFTER I was supposed to punch in at work. Beauty regimen just walked out the door. I walked out of my door without a shower, contacts, makeup, or my hair down. Sad. However I did manage to make it to work and punch-in in less than 16 minutes.

The whole being late thing is especially ironic since I got an e-mail from my boss 2 days ago telling me that he was impressed with my work and that I was getting a raise. Of course the first person I saw when I walked into work today would be him and of course I was late to the first shift I worked since the notice about the raise. I have never been more than 15 minutes late before. Today I was 50. So like the title says, I can change the outside (or try with proper time) and the inside won't change for shit.

On a good note the Aggies won last night. The game was Too Close For Comfort but I guess a win is a win. Gig 'em Aggies!

EtOH

2005-09-16T14:19:00.000-04:00

Last night I went out to the bar for a friend's birthday. It was a blast! We started drinking just after 5pm and didn't stop till after midnight. I drank 3 double long islands and 2 bacardi & diets, not counting the sips of Blonde's long island that I snagged. I was lit. We even moved the party from one bar to another. At the second, we danced completely retardedly on the empty dance floor and I flirted with a guy wearing a tu (University of Texas for non-Aggies) hat. I had to have been fucking drunk to do that!

I had to somehow get to work this morning at 8am and let me tell you, that was a feat. My car was on campus and I couldn't just leave it there because it was in a reserved from 9a-5p spot. My car would have been towed. So I had to walk to the bus stop in the rain, catch the bus for the first time since law school started, go rescue my car and drive to work. I somehow, miraculously managed to only punch in 9 minutes late. I fucking rule!

The birthday girl e-mailed me this morning letting me know that she woke up with puke on her shirt, her face on the toilet seat, and her hair swimming in the bowl. She had the same amount to drink as I did and she is half my size. I'm just glad that I had an easier fate.

As soon as I get off of work today (4pm) I'm going to head home and watch the 2nd half of the 3rd season of 24. All of it. The only break I'm going to take is to maybe get dinner (although cooking some mac and cheese is a more likely route) and picking ABW up from the airport. I can't fucking wait.

At some point I should pick up some books, but for now I'm enjoying my long weekend. Perhaps Sunday I'll wake up at a decent hour and spent 10 or 12 hours buried in my con law book. That class has entirely too much reading.

Oh, and while I watch 24, I'm going to upload all of my cd's onto Itunes and synch my Ipod for the first time in 6 months, make playlists, and get all my music organized. Yay!

Wal-mart free for 31 days and counting...

About Law School

2005-09-14T17:41:00.000-04:00

I realized I haven't blogged about law school specifically since I started classes again. Perhaps that says something in and of itself, but I digress...

This is my last semester and I am taking 12 credits. I'm taking Con Law, Wills & Trusts, and 2 health law classes. It is actually a nice balance of classes and taking only 12 credits is going to be a nice break. I have previously taken 15, 14, 18, and 16.

My Con law class is relatively delightful. I have read most of the cases in previous classes and so I feel like I have a leg up on some of the other kids in my class. Also, my professor has a systematic way of asking questions and briefing cases. This makes my class preparation much less stressful since I know what kind of questions he'll ask. That is if I do my preparation. Today I did not. I was sitting in class trying to read ahead just in case he did call on me and praying that I wouldn't be called on. I was talking to a friend about it and she said that when she doesn't prepare for class, she gets tiny butterflies in her stomach every time the prof moves on to a new case. And as soon as he called out a name that wasn't hers, she'd breathe a sigh of relief. This is a very accurate description of my emotions today in class. I was fortunate not to be called on and will do my best not to try my luck again in the future. The more names he calls out that aren't mine, the more likelihood that mine is next on the list. I'm a 3L and really should know better than this.

More about some of my other classes later.

Currently I am in the computer lab and am surrounded by fellow law students. I realize more every day how little I like these people. I am getting less tolerant and bitchier everyday. I even told someone that his presence wasn't ABSOLUTELY mutually exclusive with having fun. I'm sinking lower every day.

chugging along

2005-09-13T09:40:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went to Wal-Mart. Well, I didn't personally choose to go to Wal-Mart, but I drove a car-less friend there because I am a nice friend. I did not spend a dime. I was very proud of my self-restraint. Honestly it was not as difficult as I had expected.

I also went canoeing this weekend. It was a blast. Canoeing is very peaceful and relaxing and the river was empty which added to the blissful surroundings. I'm trying to clear my calendar for this Saturday so that I can go again. Doubtful.

I took my boyfriend to Blondie's parents house so that we could go fishing and enjoy a smore-filled bonfire. The evening was quite enjoyable. I managed to catch 2 fish, one of which was a big mouth bass. Taz caught nothing and that made me feel like a champ. I somehow managed to obtain well over a dozen mosquito bites without noticing. However, 24 hours later I was in complete misery. I have 6 mosquito bites just on the smallest 3 toes on my left foot. Last night I was in such itching pain that, while walking, I would step with my right foot and drag my left so as to scratch the top of it on the rug. SAD!!! Taz thought that Blondie's dad looks like Billy Bob Thornton. I passed that information along to Blondie and she got slightly defensive and proceeded to say, "Well, to white people, all black people look the same too." I relayed that comment back to Taz and he thought that was just the funniest thing he'd heard in a long time.

Yesterday was a fabulous day! I managed to sit on my butt and watch 8 hours of the third season of 24. I didn't have to work and was prepared for all 3 of my classes. Nice! My goal is to finish the rest of this season of 24 before Saturday night. I have 12 hours left to see.

law school, med school, and more

2005-09-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

Law school is going fairly well so far. I've kept up with all my reading, been outlining for my classes, and even taking notes in half of my classes. I have already given my one presentation for the semester and I have no long, grueling papers ahead of me.

I waited for yesterday to come forever. I had no obligations. None - zip - zero. It was fabulous. I leasurely got up around 10a and then meandered over to the law school. I spent 7 hours in the library working on my medical school applications, but just knowing that I could leave at any time was liberating. I went home, watched a couple of episodes of Murder She Wrote, talked to my boy for an hour and then went to sleep. No obligations = bliss.

Today I have 9 hours of commitments and then have to go home and clean and do laundry. I always feel obligated to clean my house when Taz is coming over. I don't want him to see what kind of slob I am. To be honest though, I'm only a slob when I live by myself. My entire college days were spent with roomates and a spotless home. So he has nothing to worry about.

I had this tiny (3.3oz) Dannon yogurt drink this morning and it was really yummy. Also, I am not hungry yet, 3 hours after I drank it. Usually I am starving unless my breakfast is over 200 calories. So I'm pretty stoked. Plus, anything that is good for you and is yummy is a bonus.

I would like the world to know that as of today I am 26 days Wal-mart free. I vowed to myself (and some others to keep me in check) that I would not shop at Wal-mart ever again. I knew that they were evil, but it was a vice that I was not really ready to give up. Well I've given up and I feel like I'm a much better person because of it. They should have wal-mart addict recovery groups - like AA groups.

Guilt and sour feelings!

2005-09-06T11:09:00.000-04:00

This weekend I was less than a mile from the largest site of evacuees, the Astrodome. I didn't really see too much action. There were lots of cops around, mostly to direct non-existent traffic. The signs outside the dome said that "volunteers turn right" and "no donations accepted. I guess they had too many people just dropping shit off. One guy brought a truck full of BBQ but since he wasn't Red Cross approved, they didn't let him share his stock. Sad, but I suppose understandable from a liability point of view. The guilt mentioned above is due to the fact that I didn't volunteer any of my time while I was down there. That makes me sad now.

I did have a fairly good weekend though. I rented a storage unit and put all of my stuff in it. I donated 7 trash bags full of clothes, 1 trash bag full of shoes, and tons of other assorted stuff (backpacks, tote bags, sleeping bag, house wares, etc). My parents can no longer complain that my shit is cluttering up their house. Now they have to deal with their own shit - and they have a lot of shit. I even put a desk and a table out for the "large trash collection" day and people came by and picked them up almost immediately. Yay! Flylady is right. Bless others with your clutter and you will be blessed in return. I feel good about giving my shit away. Oh, and a lot of it was really good shit. I had like 4 pairs of jeans with tags still on them from gap, express, and old navy.

I went to College Station to visit a friend and had a blast. We went shopping and I got a watch that I had wanted forever. I also got a sweater for $6 and some really good hair product stuff (cheap is good, but discontinued is bad). They were supposed to get New Orleans refugees at reed arena and my friend and I were going to staff a first aid station there, but the refugees didn't make it there before I had to leave town. The best part of the weekend was probably the fact that my friend asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm totally psyched but I have to do some research because I have absolutely no idea what responsibilities and duties go along with that title. Anyone know?

I came back yesterday and have not really done anything. My cat threw up twice while I was gone, so I had to clean that up and I've been doing reading for my classes. It pretty much sucks. I think I'm just in a bad mood cause I have to work all day and then go to class. I can't wait for this weekend! I'll have 4 days with NOTHING to do except go to work for 9 hours. Plus none of my friends are going to be here. I'm going to watch murder she wrote, get my med school secondaries done, and go hiking. Those are my 3 goals for this weekend. I can't wait!

Homework

2005-08-31T18:54:00.000-04:00

I have spent the last 7 hours reading 20 pages for my class tonight. 20 freaking pages took me 7 hrs. Granted I was at work and we were relatively busy, but that is still ridiculous.

I had a 9am class this morning that lasted just under 2 hrs. When I left home, gas prices were about $3.00. When I drove back home, less than 2 hrs later, they were up to $3.20. I'm scared now to drive home tonight for fear that the gas prices might just put me in such a tizzy that I drive off the road.

I'm leaving tonight to go back home and clean out my parent's house. They want my shit gone regardless of the fact that I'm moving back in with them in less than 4 months while I study for the bar. I'm hoping that I can escape, go see a couple movies, and perhaps a friend or 2. My midnight escape locals are no longer available. I used to go and spend hours at Wal-mart decompressing from the day and just enjoy not being at my house. I have since sworn off Wal-mart and refused to go there. Additionally, there is a 24 hour grocery store not too far from my house, but I have an ex who still works there. I guess I'll just have to suck it up or go to the 24 hour vigil chapel at my old church.

Classes are really not making me happy this semester. I am sitting in my night class right now and staring at the back of Mini's head. Mini is a person that I have a very bad history with. And just after it was too late to switch seats, my prof passed out a fucking seating chart so now I have to stare at Mini's head all fucking semester. I see Mini and I get all sad and then I get all mad and then I get sick to my stomach and then I get distracted by something and then I see Mini again and the cycle starts all over.

My class is almost over, so I'll post again when I get back from my parent's house. Maybe I'll have some interesting stories since I'm going to a locale where there are tons of New Orleans refugees (technically they aren't really refugees, but since the press is using that term, I'll use it too).

First day of Classes

2005-08-29T12:29:00.000-04:00

My first class was rather brutal. The professor started out boring and by the end of the class I was trying my hardest not to fall asleep. He even went into theory and jurisprudence shit; talking about HLA Hart and other philosophers. I have my entire day scheduled away. I need a day where I can sit and do absolutely nothing. Thursday september 8th will be that day. I am going to do nothing but sit at home, do pedicures, manicures, and watch Murder She Wrote.

Here is today's schedule:
8-9 - work
9-10:40 - class
10:45-12:45 - work
1-5 - volunteer
5:30-7:30 - class
7:45-9:30 - class
9:40 - movie!!!

Tomorrow is almost as bad. I'm booked solid 8a-10p except for a 3.5 hr break from 4-7:30. Plus I have a 45min meeting during that time. Talk about major yuckage.

Maybe my next class won't be as boring.

Oh, and class dynamics have changed NONE! The girl who bobs her head still bobs her head. The guy who sits in the back row still sits in the back row. Etc!

Who is the fairest journal of all?

2005-08-26T15:39:00.000-04:00

The immediate response would be Law Review...

I was at a law school social gathering not too long ago and this very subject came up. My school has 3 types of journals. First is the Law Review, second are the journals who publish on paper but aren't as "prestigious" as Law Review and third are the journals who publish online (lets call those "quasi journals"). Now, the social gathering had participants from all three types of journals and all three voiced their opinions.

LR said that LR isn't all it's cracked up to be and that some of its members have their heads up their asses, but that it certainly was better than the other types of journals (in not so many words).

Paper said that her journal was under-appreciated by the administration. She gets a decent amount of money, but it isn't anything compared to what LR gets. She is proud of her journal and believes that her journal does loads to make this school what it is.

Quasi said that this school is getting better because of it's reputation of having lots of secondary journals. We have 6 journals (I think) and half of them are quasi journals. All three have published only one volume. One of those three is impossible to find online (not a good sign considering that is the only way it was published). Another's last issue was in 2003. The third allowed two dingbats onto its masthead. I take that back. Only one is a dingbat. The other is a douchebag. Quasi admits that people who consider these journals to be a great addition to our school probably do not know that they are only published online or that they have only published one volume. However, she is steadfast in her belief that there is little difference between LR and the quasi journals. She is severely mistaken.

Until recently I believed that there wasn't much difference between LR and the paper journals. That was before a certain someone took over leadership of one of the paper journals. An incompetent leader does not bode well for this journal's future and I'd be surprised if they published even one volume this year. Or, if indeed a volume is published, it will probably be because of this incompetent leader's sole work product. This leader cannot delegate and cannot multitask. Either a volume will be published and Leader's grades will severely suffer, or Leader will suffer a major breakdown and no volumes will be published. Maybe I should start a pool.

In my unbiased opinion (since I belong to no journals and do not wish to be part of any of them), I believe that although LR is a bit over-rated, a bit over-funded, and its members a bit over-idolized (especially by employers), it still is the fairest of them all.

Back to school - Day 1

2005-08-26T11:26:00.000-04:00

I know the title of my blog says that I'm addicted to school, but to be honest, this kinda sucks. I didn't have any classes today, the first day of school, but I did have to go to school to conduct some business. As I wondered around the building, the smell of new blood was in the air - 1L blood. *evil laugh* There is the harry potter looking 1L who wore a charlie brown shirt, you know, the yellow one with the black squiggly. There is the guy with the hat-cocked-to-the-side (and I am convinced that Blondie won't be able to rectify that no matter how hard she tries). Then there was legally blonde #153,683 with her bleach blonde hair and 4 inch pumps with pink bows on them. THEN some chick came in with her swim suit on. She had it on with those tiny shorts and a tube top that barely covered the bathing suit itself (2 piece of course). I'm sure they are all fabulous people, but their visual first impressions left something to be desired. The icing on the cake though are all the returning 2Ls and 3Ls who have to come chat with you no matter how many I-don't-like-you-vibes you send to them.

I also found out that the person I hate most at this school is going to be in my wills and trusts class. Yuck! Oh, and the guy who doesn't wash his hair still hasn't washed his hair and he still smells. I guess some things will never change.

Me no excited about school starting.

I'm trying to get my first day assignments done but I'm having tons of trouble. Silly things like blogging are getting in my way. I guess it's time to chop-chop!

Missouri is not quite missery, but driving there is

2005-08-23T19:04:00.000-04:00

I am in Missouri visiting my nephews. They are adorible in every way. I cannot imagine cuter boys. One is almost two and is already a classical music snob. He will ask for "Bach Cello" (the Bach cello suites), or "Valkuries" or "Firebird" or "Shas-kovitch". He can recognize the difference between them and can even identify specific instruments within the pieces. He's insanely smart. He also knows all 50 states, what they are called and where they go in his little wooden puzzle. When you ask who lives in Oregon, or in Texas, or in New York, he knows which family member lives in each. He's calling for me right now. I'm his little slave right now and will meet all his little desires, which usually include painting, markers, puzzles, or performing in the drum band we formed.

I will update more when I'm bored at school, but for right now I'm in complete bliss being my nephew's slave.

Trip to visit the fam (part 2)

2005-08-10T09:49:00.000-04:00

My actual trip to visit my family was fun. My aunt and uncle now live in the country and on a lake, so it was quiet, peaceful, and relaxing (except for when my parents were patronizing me). I managed to take my 94 year old grandfather out for a paddle boat ride. We picked blue berries from the other side of the lake right before it started to pour down rain. Grandpa was a good sport though. However, everyone else thought that I was trying to drown my him. The next day I took the same boat ride with my aunt but without the downpour. We saw the Boston Symphony play a mostly (completely) Mozart concert at Tanglewood and got to sit on the lawn which is way more fun than sitting in the shed. I also got to see my only cousin and her kids.

My Grandpa moved into an elderly community-type place which is really nice. It reminds me a lot of the upscale dorm I lived in my first year of college. My grandpa has a 2 bedroom apartment and managed to take most of the stuff from his house, shove it into that apartment, and make it look magnificent. I have to say it is weird seeing all the stuff from my grandparent's house in a small apartment, but my grandpa is happy, and that is what is really important.

My parents spent most of Saturday and all of Sunday complaining about all the "shit" I still have in their house. See, they want to remodel the upstairs and can't until all my shit is gone. I actually like my shit (that's probably why I kept it in the first place) and so we are butting heads. The solution is that I am going to spend my labor day weekend at home, not having fun, but cleaning out the upstairs and getting it ready to remodel. Now I'm moving back home for 2 months starting in December and I have to say that if I spend these 5 days cleaning out their house and no remodeling occurs between now and December, I will have someone's head on a platter. That, and my parents better feed me well and take me shopping labor day weekend.

School is starting soon. People are coming back into town and first day assignments are posted. I still have to finish my job (only 3 more days of work - WHOOP!) and then I have a 10 day trip where I'm going to babysit one nephew, coddle another, and allow my mother to drive me crazy. I feel like there is no time to relax. I need to learn how to say no, how to know my own limits, and how to relax. Anyone have any suggestions? Anyone?

I never get to see Taz anymore. See, we are dating, but I only get to see him once a week for a couple of hours so it doesn't feel like we are dating. It makes me sad, but the reason for the lack of together time is because he is preparing for his auditions. I really hope he gets one of these jobs. It would mean me re-arranging my life or at least considering re-arranging my life, but it would make him happier, which is key.

My dad on marriage:

Dad: When are you two going to get married?
Me: I have no idea.
Dad: So how do you know that Taz isn't stringing you along?
Me: I guess I don't know.
Dad: Well how can you find out?
Me: I don't know, but if you think of any suggestions, let me know.
Dad: Well you could get pregnant. That's usually a good way to find out if someone is stringing you along.
Me: Daaaaad!

Taz on marriage:

After telling Taz about my dad's comments.
Taz: So when are we going to get married.
Me: How about tomorrow.
Taz: Sure, I'll drive down.
Me: Are you serious?
Taz: Sure.
Me: For real?
Taz: Yeah. Are you going to call me on it. Cause I'll do it.
Me: Well I think there is a 3-day waiting period to get a marriage license, but I could pick up the application and bring it up when I come visit you tomorrow. We could fill it out.
Taz: Sure! *giggle*

So I think I am going to pick up the form, but not mention it and see if he mentions it. I don't yet know if I'm serious, but... well I don't know. I'm not as adverse to marriage as I was a year ago, but it still does mildly frighten me.

Trip to visit the fam

2005-08-08T15:48:00.000-04:00

Beware: This post is mostly bitching.

I got home from a full day of travel and beside my bed was a pile of cat fur. See, before I left, I got my cat a new groomer, a zoom groom. Some how it magically collects cat hair off the cat. It is seriously impressive. Well, blondie graciously volunteered to take care of my cat and while she was there, she zoom groomed a pile of hair off of my cat and put it on my floor. She deserves the embarrassment of having the picture posted here. The green thing is a ankle-less sock for size reference. Maybe next time she'll take the two minutes to throw the pile of cat hair into the trash. Blondie, you know I love you!

More later - a client just walked in...

The &*$% Bar Exam!

2005-08-03T11:14:00.000-04:00

So I discovered that my bar review class is starting on December 19th. Unfortunately I have a final on Dec. 20th and graduation is on Dec. 22nd. Then I have to drive to back to Texas. So basically, I may have to miss the first week of bar review work. That also means that I might be driving back on Christmas day (talk about blowing chunks). That really doesn't bode well. :( I don't know what I'm going to do. Plus, there is this whole thing with my cat. My parents won't let my cat stay at their house while I study for the bar, so I may just have to leave my cat with a friend or board him for 2 months, or pay for an apartment for 2 months for the sole purpose of keeping my cat there. Did I mention that this really isn't a great thing. I don't know how this is going to work. I'm not excited either.

On a funny note, I was talking to my dad the other day and he asked how I was and how Taz was. Then he asked how "we" were. I told him that we were still dating. I suppose I could have been more specific, but I felt no reason to be. Then he asked me what Taz's intentions were. When I told him that I did not know what they were and he said, "Tell that boy that he is squandering my daughter's best years". Taz, Blondie, and I got a lot of laughs out of that one. "Squandering my daughter's best years." That has got to be the quote of the summer.

I have not done a damn thing on my med school applications in a very long time. I know that is bad, but I'm not motivated right now. The scary thing is that everything needs to be done by Sept. 1st. All my letters of recommendation have to be in, my secondary applications need to be in, and I need to have all this shit taken care of. Sept. 1st is my self-given deadline. However, Aug. 30th is also the deadline for the texas bar application. So basically I need to get my butt in gear and work on this crap like I've never worked on crap before. Lord help me! I mean I could file my application after Aug. 30th, but I'd be throwing away $150 since that is the late fee. Grrrrrrrrrrr. As it turns out (I just checked it out), the Texas bar application is incredibly easy. It is 38 pages, but I could honestly fill it out in less than 3 hours (and that includes the research I'd need to do). I no longer have any excuses. I guess that will be my project for my weekend in NY. Then I can make my dad pay for the application fee. I'm always thinking. :)

I'd write more, but my brain is fried. I think that I may have to press the reset button a couple of times before school starts to make sure that everything is running correctly. This summer was supposed to be a break, but working 50hrs a week is not a break. Some times you just can't see the most obvious things. Duh!

Working sucks!

2005-07-31T17:36:00.000-04:00

I have worked 14 of the last 18 hours. I am on my 8th day of working 11 days in a row. I'm tired, I want to go to sleep, and I'm hungry. To sum it up - I'm miserable.

I don't really know what to blog about. Nothing interesting, special, or note worthy has occurred. And well, if it had, then I wouldn't remember anyway because of my exhaustion.

Really, I'm just sitting here wasting time until my shift is over in 12 minutes.

Oooh! I'll do a quiz and post the results here.

Miracle of life!

2005-07-28T12:04:00.000-04:00

I completely forgot to tell the world about my new nephew. He was born just a few days ago and is adorible as pie. I haven't seen him yet, but I did just buy a plane ticket. I'll be there in less than 3 weeks! He was 7 lbs 9 oz and 20.5 cm long. The mom and little boy are both healthy despite the umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck. Apparently his nails were really long and that is what caused mom's water to break pretty early. Child birth is an amazing thing.

Home away from home.

2005-07-28T08:12:00.000-04:00

I like blogging about the new country bar. That is probably because I LOVE the new country bar. It feels like a tiny slice of home away from home (minus the weird line dancing which people don't actually do in Texas). Blondie and I went again last night and went early to take some line dancing lessons. I had a blast learning how to stomp in rhythm and even doing some high kicks. I was bad, but it was all in the name of fun anyway.

I managed to make blondie flirt with the local radio DJ who was there handing out free tickets to a country concert and then wound up winning a pair of tickets. Coincidence? I think not.

Then we went for the bull rides. Blondie went first, and her ride was fairly normal. She had good balance and managed to stay on for quite a while. I was a different story. First, I had a hard time getting on the bull, as I'm a rather large person, and then I couldn't stay on long. However, my dismount was fabulous. It was a slow fall where if I had really tried, I probably could have pulled myself back on the bull 3 or 4 times in the time it took me to fall. I had the bull operator laughing his knockers off. By the end of the night, the dance floor was empty and blondie and I took it over, going from one side to the other doing high kicks.

The only drawbacks for the night were that I bought $25 worth of EtOH and never felt a buzz and that I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my torso when I was riding the bull and now it kinda hurts to breathe.

All in all - a successful night!

I haven't touched my med school applications in 2 weeks. Everything is really on hold right now for my recommendation letters. I've been tired, worn out, and unmotivated. I guess the working 50 hrs a week is catching up with me. Yesterday I turned in my letter of resignation for my legal job and my boss stuck her tongue out at me and said "That wasn't really what I wanted." Not very mature, ma'am. Thank goodness I'm leaving.

My boyfriend is preparing for an audition and doesn't really have a lot of time to hang out. I know his audition is important, but I don't care. I want him to be available when I'm available. Thank goodness I'll be out of town for half of this month so that I don't have to keep getting turned down for booty calls (that eats at your self confidence after a while). I saw him on monday night and it was pretty awful. First, his bathroom was leaking water, so we had to deal with that. Then his house is hot (HOT!!!) - too hot to sleep. Also, it smells like piss because his brother got a new dog and doesn't take it out enough or clean up after it. And finally, my boyfriend only has a twin bed. Two skinny people can't comfortably sleep on a twin bed, not to mention to rather large people. Needless to say, I don't like sleeping over. So Monday night I woke up at 2am after sleeping only 1.5 hrs and wanted nothing more than to drive home where I could have a full bed (only to be shared with my cat) and air conditioning. He pulled out the damn pouty face and the "It'd really mean a lot if you stayed" and of course I gave in. I had to make up the sleep the next night so I laid down at 6pm to take a nap and didn't wake up until 8am the next morning when my alarm went off for work. 14 hours of sleep and no clean laundry. I guess the good goes with the bad.

Oh, and I recruited some chick to go to our school. She e-mailed me with questions and apparently after talking with me decided my school would be a better choice than the others she got accepted to. Suckaaaa!!!

The longest post........EVER!

2005-07-20T10:04:00.000-04:00

So first, I would like to let everyone know that I officially suck. Yes, I suck! I forgot to call my brother on his birthday and so when I called him the next day, I had to apologize for being a shmuck and plead his forgiveness over the answering machine. Pathetic.

This weekend had its fabulous parts and its rotten parts. Thursday night was pretty fabulous. Blondie and I went to the new country bar in town and played pool, danced, rode the mechanical bull, got hit on by 1Ls, and watched a guy open the emergency exits to stand in the doorway and take a leak. Now this bar isn't classy, mind you, but it does have a little bit more class than pissing right outside the door in plain-bar-view. I took a picture on my new camera phone. If I can figure out how, I may even post it. :)

The next night I went and got my Harry Potter book. Yay for Harry Potter. I'll let you know now, this entry does not have any spoilers in it, so read on. I had the book by 1am and finished it about 48hrs later. During those 48hrs, I had to go to work: this is where it gets sad. I was at work and some punk ass kid came up to me and said, "Oh, you are reading Harry Potter. ***************** " And just like that, in less than 5 seconds, he had told me the ending. I couldn't stop him. It happened before I even realized he had opened his mouth. I was so angry that I almost cussed him out. His mom was standing right there though, so it is probably better I didn't. I had homicidal thoughts all the way home and did not pick up the book again for an entire day. That mother fucker (Am I going to hell for being mad at a 13 year old who reads?). It turns out that, although knowing the ending did suck ass, it didn't completely spoil the book for me.

I have not talked to Taz for more than 5 minutes since I saw him Sunday night. I miss him. :(

Last night was amazing. Blondie and I went to a concert. My irritable, and at times nasty, boss gave me free tickets. That didn't suck. So Blondie and I traveled 1/2 way across the state to watch some good music. Well, the first performer blew massive chunks but the second one was amazing. Another one of my co-workers got free tickets too and so both of us drank away our miserable day. We got yelled at by our boss first thing in the morning because I was 10 minutes late and the other girl was 30 minutes late (mind you we are always late and nothing special was going on yesterday). Then we had to deal with totally unruly clients in the office. At one point two people came in wanting services who were on opposite sides of a conflict. We had to usher one out them door and refer him elsewhere and he was none too happy that we had ditched him for the other side.

I have done little more about my medical school applications since I posted last. I have asked for 2 of the 3 needed letters of recommendation and finally sent out the last of my transcript requests. Tomorrow I will start working hard core on the secondary applications. I am going to try to get all of the Texas ones done this week so that when the out of state ones arrive, I can jump right on them.

Holy Cow! I almost forgot to bitch about how my family is ruining my next vacation. I am going to the northeast to visit my dad's family. I was really excited about this because I get to see my grandpa's new pad and hang out with relatives that only get to see once a year. My parents decided that it would be a good idea if they tagged along. I didn't want them to tag along. If they tag along then the vacation is about them and not about me. It sounds selfish, but my dad sees them once a month and they don't really get along with my mom, so it really isn't selfish. Then my dad found out he couldn't come because of work and so it is just going to be me and my mom. Did I mention that they don't really get along with my mom? Um...yeah. I'm just going to have to take a couple deep breaths and mentally prepare for what is to come.

I have a new nephew on the way. Yeeeeeeeeeee Haw!

I'm half way there!!!

2005-07-14T16:26:00.000-04:00

Today I managed to make some great progress on my medical school applications. First, I completed my essay - a monumental task. Those things can really never be done, but I submitted mine for better or worse. Then I submitted all of the primary applications for the 7 Texas schools and the 6 other schools that I am applying to. Goodbye TMDSAS and AMCAS! WHOOP!!!!!

Then I came up with an ingenious idea. My law school doesn't have a premedical advisory committee, but I created one! I'm so freaking smart. I went to the career services office and asked if they'd be willing to collect my letters of recommendation and send them to the medical schools. Their response was, "um......sure". Despite their confusion over my choice to apply to medical schools, this will make the job a lot easier on the profs (1 letter sent to 1 place rather than 1 letter sent to 8 places with additional instructions about what to send where). Yay!

My MCAT scores and transcripts have all been requested and are either already with TMDSAS and AMCAS or are in the mail. Life is good.

The next steps are to make sure the profs send in the letters of recommendations. If only I could get a hold of them. It is amazing how many profs are inaccessible during the summer. They just up and leave. One prof told me he couldn't write me a letter because he was leaving for a 4 month sabbatical in 2 days. Doh!

Along with finding profs and then hounding them, I have to fill out the secondary applications. I know that some are going to be more demanding than others. I just hope that they don't take me more than the next few weeks. My goal is to fill out all the ones I have in my hands before I get the ones that are only sent to me after AMCAS processes my application. Talk about a laborious process.

Texas moved their application deadline from November 1st to Oct 15th, so the fact that I'm sending out my applications early doesn't mean much, especially considering that I might not be able to get all of my professor's letters of recommendation out before Sept 1st. Eeek! Instead of submitting my application right before the deadline, I'll be at 1 and 1/2 months before the deadline. I suppose that's better than not being early at all, however it is much, much, much later than I originally intended.

It is hard to imagine that when I finally get all this med school application crap done that I will have to immediately start on my bar exam application and then start the grad school applications. Baby steps!

I have decided...

2005-07-13T10:57:00.000-04:00

I have decided to make some changes in my life. I am going to be more selfish. I am going to quit my job next month, just in time for me to go see my brand new nephew (oh, and the old one too, and my mom, my sister-in-law, and my brother). I am also going to do things that I want to do, because I want to do them and for no other reason. I'm tired of always thinking about other people, and making myself miserable for their benefit.

After my day of horror last week, it has taken me a while to get back into the groove of things. I have finally finished my essay, but still have not gotten my applications out. I am having to wait on letters of recommendation. I should have taken care of this months ago, but no - I'm a moron.

On a plus note, my house is clean. I am decluttering and trying to make it liveable. I have to limit my move back to Texas this december to what fits in my car. Um....yeah, that's not a whole lot of stuff. My mom is driving up from Texas to visit me next month, so maybe I can send her home with a lot of stuff. :) I'd like to keep my law books, but they will almost take up the whole car by themselves, so maybe they should go in my mom's car instead of mine. I really can't wait to start a new life in Texas. I get to throw away tons of stuff, sort through my lifetime of clutter, and maybe after the bar exam, move somewhere nice with Taz and start a life. Holy crap I'm getting ahead of myself. First I need to get up the courage to quit my job. That will be the drama for the next month. How long before my last day of work do I let my boss know I'm done? Do I tell them the truth or come up with some lame excuse for leaving? When exactly do I quit? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Last night my boyfriend kept talking about babies. He kept trying to think of names and telling me how cute I was for being squeamish when a friend brought up the subject. Apparently he wants to name our kids after us - a girl named after him and a boy named after me. Um....that's kinda narcissistic if you ask me. I have to say the whole thing makes me nervous.

Blondie went across the country to try to recruit students to come to our law school. I think she must have gotten abducted. She is MIA. Maybe she realized how fabulous tropical climates are and decided never to come back to this stupid frozen tundra.

Yeah, there isn't much other news. I tried to find the new country bar last weekend but failed miserably and I re-discovered a like of swimming.

The worst day.....EVER!

2005-07-07T13:09:00.000-04:00

So the day even started out poorly. I woke up at 9:40 when I was supposed to be at work at 9a. I left the house at 9:45a, and was at work by 10. Considering that work is 12 miles away, that wasn't bad. Fortunately no one even missed me. No one had called or shown up. I thought my bad luck was over.

Things went okay until my friend called right after work. She was the bearer of bad news. My favorite restaurant in the whole widest world burned down. They suspect arson, and the family is not sure they'll re-open. The best fucking BBQ in Texas and it's gone. GONE!!!!

Then I get home and I locked my keys in my car. Smart me decides that if I just wait for my landlord to get home, she can let me into my apartment and then I won't have to call the jimmy guys and pay them $50 to pop my lock. So I wait...and I wait...and then I take a walk...and I wait...and then I play with my phone...and I wait...and I take another walk, find a consignment shop, look around, walk home...and I wait...and finally she comes home 3 1/2 hours later. Yes, I think it was worth $50 to wait, but dude, it sucked!

So today I finished 10% more of my medical school applications. I was at 80% and now I'm at 90%. I'd not have done crap without ABW's bitching. She basically threatened my life if I didn't finish them. Well I got as far as I could on my own. Now it is up to others - well sorta. I gotta get my letters of rec and my essay edited. But other than that, it's done. Yay! I think I'm incoherent from the lack of mental activity during this summer. Lord help me when I have to go back to class this fall.

New Phone

2005-07-01T08:30:00.000-04:00

I have been drooling over a camera phone for months. Today I actually get to go buy it. I'm totally excited. I am ditching work for an hour to go buy it. I'd have gone after work, but Blondie is picking me up from work so that we can drive out of town to see a MLB game. I love baseball and this will be the first MLB game I've seen outside of the Astrodome. Kinda sad when you consider that the astrodome is no longer even used for baseball games.

I promised myself that I'd get my med school aps done before I bought my cell phone. In actuality, I'm terribly close to finishing. I just need to get about a dozen people to read over my essay before I submit the final draft. The task for today will be getting my transcripts sent and asking profs for letters of recommendation. That's a good goal if you ask me. Yay!

I keep thinking that I should only apply to texas schools - that it is only practical to apply to texas schools. However, I narrowed down the other group of schools to about 10. I'm applying to Hawaii, Brown, Howard, and other schools that I have absolutely no chance of getting into. I'll apply anyway on the off chance that the dean of admissions is just pining for a lawyer. Not likely. *sniff*

Medical school, here I come! WHOOP!

Oh, and can anyone tell me why they started construction on the library during finals?

Pounding

2005-06-29T09:50:00.000-04:00

At work today, they are doing construction and I am going insane with all of the pounding. We have cinderblock type construction and so everything echos too. I don't just have to hear each pound once, but twice. My office is the closest one to the site of the construction and I think I might go insane before the day is out. Thank goodness I only have to be at this office till 1pm.

My medical school applications are almost done. I know I've been saying that for two weeks, but this time, it is really true. My essay is hard to write though. I can do fine if I am driving down the highway trying to come up with insightful things to say, but if my fingers are at a keyboard, I might as well be dead. Talk about major suckage. However, I've wanted a new cell phone for weeks and I can get one on July 1st, but my rule for myself is that I cannot get it until I am done with my applications. Hopefully that will be the final push of motivation I need.

Blondie is having a kick-ass 4th of July party this weekend. My boyfriend, after months of me badgering him, has agreed to ask for the day off, and so I might just get to have 24 hours of pure fun. Yee Haw. These days it is rare for me to get a whole day off of work. Last week I worked every single day at least 6 hours. Again, major suckage. Wow, that means that at the end of this week, I'll not have had a day off 12 days. I think I am killing myself.

Today is my last yoga class of the summer. I could sign up for another session, but I don't think I will. At this point, I have a distinct lack of time and money, so two free evenings a week will be a blessing.

Okay, back to that damn essay.

Coping Mechanisms

2005-06-24T08:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I took away one of my coping mechanisms. It was one that is self destructive, but it has served me well for over a decade. Then I had a crisis that I had to deal with. Crisis + no coping mechanism = lots of crying. I panicked and had to do something. I decided that I should deal with this situation the right way instead of the wrong way. The right way being the not-so-predictable-but-less-self-destructive way and the wrong way being the decade-old-tried-and-true method.

Outcome: The crisis passed. I did not commit self destructive behaviors. The actions I had to take were more difficult than if I had gone back to the old ways but the outcome was much, much more satisfactory.

Decade-old-tried-and-true-but-self-destructive coping mechanism - I banish thee.

The greatest weekend EVER!

2005-06-15T11:49:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was truly one of the best weekends I've ever experienced. First I went to that festival with Taz. We had so much fun just walking around town holding hands, window shopping, and me stomping him in checkers. At the festival that night, we danced. I taught him the 2-step and we tried and failed to learn how to turn doing the polka. I think we'll eventually have to take ballroom dancing lessons. When we got home, we watched Pooh's Heffalump movie. How freaking cute and discustingly romantic. :)

After hanging out all weekend with Taz, I got to see my sister-in-law and nephew. He's only 1.5 yrs old, but smart as the dickens. He can do 20 piece puzzles, he knows who beethoven and shostakovich are, and he knows where about 10 of the states are and which of his relatives live in the various states. He's a freakin' genius and the fact that he's adorible doesn't hurt his cause. The night before he left he kept saying "auntie, big hug" and giving me big hugs. An aunt really can't ask for much more than big hugs.

Work has also been interesting the last couple days. We've had some yucky characters come into our office. One guy told me he had mental health issues and he smelled like ass. I was the only one in my office willing to help him out and so I was able to get him what he needed. Yay! Then I sprayed disinfecting spray all over the office. Mega Yay! Yesterday one of our clients was almost assaulted. We had to lock the door of the office and call for police to come get the almost-assailant. It was scary, but I'm really glad we have procedures in place for these sorts of things.

I really need to finish my medical school applications soon. I'm hoping that I can get all of the transcripts, letters of rec, etc. that I need to get on Thursday and then send off at least the Texas applications by the end of the weekened. I hope to have the rest of them done by a week from Friday. Yay!

Grades have been midly upsetting this semester. I wound up with 2 A's, 1 B, and 2 C's. I guess that just goes to show that I'm about as average a student as it gets. My slightly above 3.0 is never going to change. That's what it was in high school, in college, and now law school. Perhaps I should go to a pass/fail medical school and break the 3.0 nightmarish cycle.

I had horrible dreams last night. They were so vivid and so creative that if they had been a movie, I'd probably have seen it in the theater. Crazy shit, man, crazy shit.

the Ups and Downs

2005-06-08T09:50:00.000-04:00

There have been quite a few ups and downs lately.

First, my boyfriend didn't get the job he wanted and now I can't just follow him and use him to make decisions that I don't want to have to make. I'm sad he didn't get the job because he really wanted it, but at the same time, it does give me flexibility to pursue whatever I desire (and who the fuck knows what that is). I'm almost done with my Texas medical school applications. Yay! Then I get to start on the national application form and then do my grad school applications, the Texas bar exam application, and take the MPRE. My summer of fun is not so fun.

Tomorrow is my birthday (happy birthday to me) and I'm excited to go with Taz to this festival. I even booked a hotel room with a jacuzzi. Yay. I'm tempted to leave my phone at home, but that would be mean to all the people who try to call me and wish me a happy birthday. Plus, my parents would rip my head off if I didn't talk to them on my birthday.

I had yesterday marked off to be a bad day, but it wasn't nearly as painful as I'd thought. First I had to go to the girlie doctor, then work 6 hours at my legal-type job and then work 5.5 hrs at my easy job. I snuck out of my easy job for an hour to grab dinner with blondie (the best part of my crappy day) and then when I got home, I went strait to sleep.

Around 4am this morning, a ridiculously loud storm woke me up. It takes a lot to wake me up, so this one must have been vicious. Then I woke up to go to work and my power was off. I hope it wasn't/isn't off for too long because I have lots of good food in my fridge that I don't want to have to throw away. Talk about a waste.

Grades:

My grades this semester have been rather atrocious. I've gotten more C's and C+'s than I'd rather admit and I didn't get back anything starting with a vowel until yesterday. I was nervous that there would be no trampoline this semester to help keep me elevated. This is also bad news because this is my last semester of grades that the med schools and grad schools get to look at before they decide whether or not to accept me. :( I don't really regret the decisions I made last semester, and I'm not really sure I could have changed THAT much, but still, C's of any flavor suck.

I want a new phone. I want a camera phone. I want it now. But when I went to sprint to see what they could offer me, they said I had to wait till July 1st to get a $150 rebate and it would be stupid of me to get a new phone without the rebate. They are right, but that's not what I wanted to hear. On a side note, Best Buy has better deals on sprint phones than the sprint store. Random.

People Suck!

2005-06-03T08:56:00.000-04:00

I'm not really sure why I am so pessimistic about people today, but lately everyone has been pissing me off. Everyone, from close friends to people driving on the street, is doing stupid things to make me angry. Sometimes I wonder if it is a conspiracy against me. I've been reclusive lately. I don't go out with friends unless they call me. I haven't initiated a social event since school ended. And I pray that people won't call and ask me to do things. Last night I went and saw a movie alone and it was the most fun I've had at the movies in a while. No one is there to judge my choice in movies, and I don't have to worry about whether the people I'm with are having fun. I also went shopping by myself recently and that was fun. And I've even been exercising alone too. Blondie likes going on walks with me but I'd just rather go alone. I don't know why. Maybe it's just a phase. I've been having control issues lately too - or rather lack of control issues.

I think I need a vacation from life.

Having a 14 hour work day in front of me is probably not helping my attitude one bit.

Long time no update...

2005-06-01T10:01:00.000-04:00

Usually when I haven't posted in a while, it means that I'm having a great time and I don't need to vent. This past hiatus is no exception. However, I missed typing my strange thoughts onto a web page that anyone in the world could view if they so chose, so here I am - once again posting.

That attitude adjustment that I talked about last week has really changed things (or maybe it is that I'm no longer PMSing). I went on a walk yesterday with blondie and my shins didn't hurt so bad that I wanted to chop them off. I'm healed, and it feels fabulous. I can finally look forward to my walks.

This weekend I got to spend tons of time with Taz. We saw THE INTERPRETER and also saw THE LONGEST YARD. Both movies were cute and not really great. We went on a nice long walk where he met up with a girl he went to high school with. The girl had a 12 year old son and he kept cracking us up. He kept putting his entire body up to the tops of his shoulders into his shorts and walking around. He looked like a giant marshmallow. His mom was dying of embarrassment. The woman had a cute chihuahua and I've decided that I want a small dog. I probably won't be able to get one for at least 2 years. For one, I don't want to get kicked out of this apartment (they only take cats - no dogs) and two, I'm never home to take care of a dog. My little canine will have to wait.

I've been mildly productive lately. I've started a new cleaning system (www.flylady.net) and am loving it. My house is (mostly) clean. I have a schedule now of when to take out trash, when to clean Mingle's litterbox, when to water my plants (no more dead plants), and I never have more than one days worth of dishes in the sink. Yesterday I cleaned my mirrors for the first time since I moved into that apartment. I can finally see myself in the mirror. It's such a simple thing to do, it only takes a couple of minutes, and it makes such a difference. I am even keeping track of how much money I spend. Anyway, I'm happy with the new system.

I don't really have much more to say. My sister-in-law is coming to visit next week with my nephew and I get to go on a one day gettaway with Taz for my birthday. I'm greatly looking forward to both. Perhaps I'll update again when something of interest happens.

Yoga and Yoda

2005-05-25T20:58:00.000-04:00

I just got finished with my yoga class. It is a very interesting class. The teacher is bizarre. She talks of shakras and ujara breath and sacrums and mother energy. She likes crazy chanting music, but one guy in our class apparently can't stand doing yoga to music. It makes it interesting.

I'm headed out to go see Star Wars. My boyfriend has already seen it twice, so I don't want to be totally behind him. Plus he needs to see Team America this weekend, and not be tempted to go see Star Wars for the 3rd time using me as his excuse. Team America is now on video. I have waited for this for what seems like ages. I cannot wait to see the extended sex-scene. Talk about raunchy filth. Exciting!!!

I have somehow gotten lucky this week and only had to spend about 2 hours with my breathe-down-your-neck boss. She makes life very difficult. However, yesterday before she left, it was like she couldn't give me enough compliments about my work. It made me happy.

I'm very tired right now, but it is a good tired. I've been doing fun things at night after my long work days and trying hard to maintain a great attitude about life. I have even been exercising fairly consistently. I worked out sunday, monday, and wednesday. I'll go on a walk tomorrow too. It is amazing what an attitude change will accomplish. Not even a change really, but just a moderate adjustment. I feel much happier than I felt writing my last blog entry.

I haven't gotten any more grades back. I'll assume the worst and take that as a blessing.

This weekend I will spend two days and two nights with Taz. This might be the first time we have spent this long together un-chaperoned. We visited my folks in Texas, but couldn't really express ourselves fully. I am excited. :) I also get to go to a memorial day party hosted by his mom. I'm a bit intimidated as I haven't really gotten to socialize with her in a social setting before.

I've been sending Taz letters every weekend; writing them while I had free time at work. They say that it takes conscious effort to keep a relationship going, so I'm doing my best to make a conscious effort and do those little things. Now, if he'd just write one or two back, I'd be on cloud nine. He's busy though. I'd not have written back during finals, so I don't expect him to write back during audition time.

Tomorrow I officially start my medical school applications. There is no more procrastinating. I gotta do it.

Oh, and I got plants to brighten up my newly cleaned apartment. They make me smile when my cat doesn't eat them. Oh, and speaking of my cat...the little devil threw up on my clothes that I had set out for work last night. I had to scramble to find new ones. Fortunately that incident didn't set a tone for the rest of the day.

Off to the movies....

Breakdowns...

2005-05-21T21:15:00.000-04:00

From what I've heard, you are supposed to have mental breakdowns before the end of finals, not after they are done. However, I had one yesterday. I can't really describe it and I have little insight into its origin. Since then I've tried to take more control of my life, get more sleep, stick up for myself in front of others, and be completely honest with myself.

It's only been 24 hours since then, but I feel better already. This whole sleep deprived state sucks ass. I've caught up on my sleep (as far as I can tell) and I'm going to try my hardest to keep up with my sleep over the next week. I've also done some cleaning. My couches are finally sit-able and I treated the carpet for stains. I'm going to return library books tonight (I have over 20 books out at various libraries). I even managed to clean out my car and get an oil change. I've turned down the social invites that I didn't think I could fit into my schedule.

It's amazing how easily I seem to be able to lose control of my life. It used to be that a completely full schedule was conducive to being productive and kept me sane. Maybe it is that I'm getting older, but now it seems to have the opposite effect.

I drove to see Taz last night and he loved his gift. He was impressed that I had been so attentive in listening to his requests. Some of the things he had only mentioned once and some things he hadn't talked about in months. I love giving good gifts.

Tonight I have to go to work. I'll bring crocheting and lots of good books and I've gotten sleep, so hopefully it won't be painful.

Retardedness

2005-05-20T08:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I wanted to update my blog. I kept trying to log in and the site kept telling me that my user account was unfound. I was freaking out. I thought that the website was down. It turns out that I was entering my blog name instead of my username. I didn't realize this until I had them e-mail me my username. Talk about a major brain fart.

I got my first grade back of the spring semester. I should be happy. There is nothing wrong with a B+, especially if I didn't do half of the reading. Grades in my family are a huge deal. Every time my dad calls me, he asks about them. It is like my entire worth is stacked into those few letters I get back at the end of the semester. At least that is how he makes me feel. I am tempted to call him up right now and tell him what my grade was. This urge is mostly out of spite considering that it is not even 8am there and no one in my house is awake at this time. I'll resist that urge.

Today is Taz's birthday. I got him a book, some carrot juice (his weird request for a birthday gift), and I made him a CD using my I-tunes pepsi caps that I won. He has the weirdest taste in music. He wanted Ini Kamoze, Prince, Stacy Q, Eminem, Vengaboys, Quad City DJ's, Outkast, Ace of Base, Earl Skruggs, and other random stuff. I could have sworn that I got him something else, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. I'm still angry that he has to work tonight, but C'est la Vie.

I had all this crap that I wanted to blog about yesterday but now I cannot remember it. I think I'm getting old.

verge of tears

2005-05-18T20:39:00.000-04:00

Work and I are not getting along today. I was supposed to leave an hour and a half early to go to a presentation at my school - a very cool presentation. But I was with a client and felt bad about leaving, so I skipped the cool presentation. Then I found out that I have to go to a 40 hour training for that same job spread over 2 weekends, one of which happens to be my birthday weekend. Now this is bad for a few reasons. First, I have worked at this job for 5 months and they are just now sending me to training. That is completely ridiculous. I'm so pissed. They are not going to tell me a damned thing that I have not learned in the last 5 months. Come on folks. Second, I wanted to go to a festival on my birthday. It only lasts one weekend and it was going to be my birthday present to myself. Now I can't go because I have to fucking work. I'm so pissed. I think I might skip out on some of the training because I'm definitely going to the stupid festival. I've already missed out on enough stuff because of this job. I'm not going to ruin my birthday and I'm not going to miss this festival, especially since this might be the last opportunity I get to go because I might live across the country this time next year. Damn me for always feeling obligated to do shit. I need to grow a freakin' spine.

randomness

2005-05-18T09:16:00.000-04:00

I'm working 50 hours per week among my various part time jobs and I think it may kill me. I've only worked two days so far, but this getting-up-early-to-be-to-work thing is rough. I don't think the real world is my cup of tea. I'll just stay in school forever. The other thing that sucks about this summer is that I'm not getting paid much for any of these jobs. One job I like because it makes me feel good about the world and proud of my work. I can make my corner of the world a tiny bit brighter and that makes me smile. The other job I can just sit on my butt, work on my med school applications, and surf the net. I really shouldn't give up that job. Who gets paid to do their med/grad school applications. Lets be real. So even though I'm not being paid squat, I see no reason to quit either of my jobs unless they start to drive me crazy.

On Monday, Blondie made me go on a 4.8 mile walk. We are not new to these walks, however, we hadn't taken one in over a week because of final papers and such. Around mile 1.5 my shins were in such agony that I actually started crying. It was probably out of frustration more than pain, but jeez, they hurt. We went again yesterday and although the shins still hurt, they hurt 100 times less. We are going again tomorrow and I'm hoping that they'll hurt even less then.

I have made an insane exercise plan for this summer. Between work, exercise, sleep, and driving to see Taz once a week, I may have 4 free hours a week (slight exaggeration). Blondie and my 4.8 mile walk takes us just under an hour and a half and we have vowed to do it 6 times per week, taking Wednesdays off. Why Wednesdays? Because we are taking a 2 hr yoga class on Wednesday evenings. Add that yoga class and my 6 walks to the additional yoga/ballet class on Monday nights, and you have a certifiedly insane workout program.

Blondie and I are like an old married couple. At least we bicker like one. It's mildly amusing. Oh, and I'm pissed at Taz. He promised me we could go out on his birthday and I've been planning it for months but then he conveniently (or negligently) forgot that he had a symphony concert that weekend. Not a gig, which might just be a couple hr rehearsal and then a short concert, but a symphony concert with a week's worth of rehearsals and then a concert. How do you forget about a week's worth of obligations until the beginning of that week? He is too spastic and not responsible enough with his commitments for my liking. And now his birthday celebration is ruined. We can only do about 1/3 of the things I had planned and I don't even get to see him until 11:30pm.

Okay, I'll quit my whining. The library has proved more than fabulous. I rented season 1 of CSI Miami and an opera on DVD. I also checked out a couple trashy novels but haven't had time to open them yet. I'll quit rambling now and do some compulsive list making or just sit and read.

Chuck-e-cheese!

2005-05-14T18:25:00.000-04:00

I've had an incredibly busy, but fun last couple of days. I worked tons and went out with friends. I was supposed to go see Taz tonight but he called and said he didn't have enough time to spend with me so he asked for a rain-check.

I just called Blondie and she instructed me to go to chuck-e-cheese. Apparently there are going to be 15 people there tonight all hanging out with a 5 yr old. One 5 yr old and 14 adults, most in law school. This should be interesting.

ABW left today *sniff*. I haven't ever had to deal with law school without her, so this summer might be a bit weird. She's off doing some fancy job in some fancy city. I should be happy for her, but I must admit that I haven't gotten over the fact she's left us yet.

Interestingly, there is little news to report when school is not in session. Oh, but my house is finally getting clean. Yay!

C'est finito!

2005-05-13T03:56:00.000-04:00

I'm very happy to be done. I turned in my paper, which was a bit short, but was happy that it was on time and quasi-decent. Since then I've done nothing but enjoy myself. Well, I did go to work for 4 hours this morning, but even that had its good points.

So at the bar last night, I dressed totally hoochie and loved it. Girls and boys were staring at my rack, and probably because I didn't feel self conscious about it, the guys were all over me. I got to dance. :) Blondie even had to pretend to be my lesbian lover to rescue me. It's amazing what a little self confidence and cleavage will do.

I wouldn't have gone to work this morning unless ABW gave me a wake-up call. Sad, but true. This morning at work I got to hang out in the judge's chambers. We had to expedite a form and I was the runner, but that meant I got to see where the judge hangs out. It's pretty pimped out.

This afternoon I took a 6 hour nap. It was glorious. I didn't answer my phone and I slept in the sun. I love sleeping in the sun. Then I drove to see Taz and we had fun. I told him about the bar and he got mad at me. Not for dancing or flirting with other guys, but for teasing them. He said that it is so unfair when girls tease guys. Just when he thinks she likes him, she will say she's got a boyfriend or take off. Apparently this has happened to him because he was totally protective of these guys. Our relationship is very weird.

I got to talk to a friend from home today and wish her a happy birthday. We made plans to both work next summer at the study institute in Italy where we met in 2003. I absolutely cannot imagine getting paid to spend the summer in italy. I also cannot imagine hanging out there with one of my best friends. Wouldn't that be the best after-the-bar-before-grad/med-school thing ever? Yay!

Well I should be off to bed. I have to be at work in 3 hours.

Bullshit breeds bullshit

2005-05-11T10:02:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the greatest things in life turn out to be the worst things, and vice versa.

I checked out a website for hurt necks and apparently I do all of the evil things I could with respect to my neck. I hold my phone between my ear and shoulder, I look down to stare at my laptop computer screen for hours instead of looking at it level (usually my lap isn't level with my eyes - it's biology), and finally I sleep on my stomach. Needless to say, these habits die hard and my neck may not get better for a long time.

My paper is a bit more complete than it was last time I posted, but not nearly as complete as I'd have hoped. However, it will be finished by 5pm today as that is when its due. Funny how that works; it's not done till its due. That should be my motto. In my case, though, it's not even remotely close to being done till its due. I guess that's a more accurate motto.

I pray that nothing insane happens between now and 5pm. I also hope that tonight's "I'm finally done with this bullshit" celebration is tame. I'm supposed to go see a movie with ABW and then hit the bars with Blondie. Nothing good ever happens when we hit the bars. I told her that under no circumstances were we to go to the bar with the people we went with last time. I said that I'd be the DD before I'd accompany them. Her response was to hope that wouldn't ruin my night. My response: "Being sober has never ruined anyone's night." I'm going to stick to that.

So far I don't really understand what I've written for my paper. It is a philosophy paper and therefore is inherently bullshit. In fact, it's a paper filled with bullshit about other bullshit. I am quoting bullshit and coming up with original bullshit. I just hope my professor thinks it is as steamy as I think it is and gives me an A for my steamy bullshit. Hope breeds miracles - and bullshit.

How I compare thee...

2005-05-10T23:32:00.000-04:00

I'm one of those people who constantly compares myself to others. It's a character flaw. Anyways, I was checking out some other blogs and realizing that law students like to talk about legal things. One guy was talking about the Defense of Marriage Act, another professional responsibility and confidentiality. All I seem to do is bitch about my finals and all the work I have to do. I can honestly say that I am not a political person. Yes I hate G-dub, but not really enough to blog about him. Well...getting back to the typical blog topics for me:

I took a final tonight. It was for a 2 credit class and was worth 1/3 of our grade. This final wasn't even worth a full credit yet I spent more time taking it than I did taking my torts final (4-credits). I think my professor is either is a bit self absorbed about the subject matter or he likes to grade essay exams.

My neck still aches. I almost made noises during my final when I'd forget to restrict neck movement and a sharp pain would shoot down my back. Then I'd have to shut my eyes and clench my jaw till the pain was gone. The girl sitting next to me had a bottle of painkillers next to her and I almost asked her for it halfway through the exam. Talk about desperation.

I was watching TV tonight and opening random word files on my computer. I came across an earlier rough draft of this paper I am writing and was able to use most of it in the new rough draft. It added almost an entire page to my paper. :) Yee-haw!

Back to it - tomorrow at this time, I'll be all done! YAY!

Wanting to cry...

2005-05-10T12:28:00.000-04:00

I know it's my own doing. I should have had this paper done weeks ago, but I just couldn't do it. And now, once again, I have to write the whole thing in about 36 hours. I'm a retard. In other, more depressing news, I have somehow strained my neck and now am in excruciating pain when ever I turn it outside of a 90-degree turn radius or lift my arm. This is not good.

I'm trying to make cookies to make me feel better, but I'm not sure that is going to work. I also hope that the aspirin I took will kick in sometime before my exam starts at 6pm tonight. Holy crap. Do you know how hard it is to massage your own shoulders?

Okay, I'm going to stop my bitching and get back to my paper. :(

Procrasinating Purposefully

2005-05-09T00:22:00.000-04:00

As a way to procrastinate and not feel bad about it, I have started to clean my house. I have 3 huge bags of trash by the door, my sink is shiny and empty, I made some lemonade for tomorrow and finally mailed my checks to the bank. Lets just say that I have 4 checks from work in that envelope and since I only get paid once every 2 weeks, that means I have not deposited checks in over 2 months. Sad! I now have one couch completely free of stuff and you can see about half of my coffee table. Baby steps.

I suppose that I should get back to that paper. Grrrrrrrr.

Library on a Friday Night - Blech!

2005-05-06T23:09:00.000-04:00

I am no farther along on this paper than I was at the beginning of the semester, the day it was assigned. I'm going to be bold and say that this is not a good thing. I have had a pleasant few days. I managed a trip to see my boyfriend yesterday and even wore cute clothes to make him happy. It worked. It scares me how much I am in love with him.

My calf is convulsing uncontrollably. Blondie has made me walk 15 miles in the last 3 days and if and when I ever recover my physical strength, I'm going to beat her. Actually, it has been very good for me. I'm sleeping better at night and not feeling as tired during the day. Or maybe that is just because I'm under less stress. Hard to tell.

I am counting down the days till I am done with my work. I'll be done with the hard stuff on Wednesday and then just have a few evidence problems to turn in. I'll try to get those done friday. Then I will take the weekend off and clean my house and my car. They will not even be recognizable if I can help it. Today I'm going to buy bleach to use to clean the bathroom and the kitchen. Somehow I trust bleach more than other cleaning products to kill bacteria and other naughty creatures that should not exist in my abode. I wanted to open a window today to air out my apartment, but there is a beehive in between the window and the screen in my bedroom window (from inside to out there is the window, hive, and then screen). I'd love to get that fixed, but I don't want the maintenance guy anywhere near my house in the condition it is in. I at least need to pick up the underwear from the floor first. Finals do nothing good for me or the state of my home.

I start my med school applications Monday when I get home from work. Yay!

Bored

2005-05-04T12:12:00.000-04:00

I am at work today, at the slow office. And by slow I mean that I have been here for over 3 hours and received 3 calls: 1) my boss checking up on me, 2) a personal call for a co-worker, and 3) an actual business call. I must remember to bring a book with me next time I work here. ABW suggested that I work on my paper and I did for about 30 minutes before I almost fell asleep on my desk. I think I might die of boredom trying to write this paper. It's not even a legal paper, it is a philosophy paper which, in my opinion, makes it about 1,000 times worse. I really thought I'd like philosophy when I signed up for the class, but I was unfortunately mistaken. Almost everyone I know is taking that class pass/fail. I'm hoping that means they'll do just enough work to pass and my mediocre paper will be grade-boosted by the curve. We'll see.

I am going to the public library today to get a library card. I am totally pumped. I checked out the catalog and it looks like they have a pretty good selection of books, audio books, dvds, and cds. I cannot wait until I am done with finals and I can just read book after book after book and for the most part get paid for it. :)

My summer to-do list is growing exponentially. I have to do med school applications, grad school applications, take the MPRE, have some fun, and in between all of that, work about 50 hours per week between 2 jobs. Heaven help me. And this was supposed to be my slacker summer since I'm not taking any classes. Yeah right! Oh, and I have to watch about a million TV shows on DVD starting with South Park. HOLY CRAP! I just looked and the library has South Park Season 5 on DVD. That's just beyond amazing!!!!!

My house is the biggest sh*t-hole right now. I haven't cleaned it in about a month. I have 2 couches. One is completely filled with stuff. I cleaned out my backpack before I took a trip about a month ago and all the trash I took out of the backpack is still on that couch. The other couch is filled with school papers and books because it is where I do my homework (no desk). Of the 6-8 potential seats in my living room, there is only enough room for my butt. I guess I should kinda get on that. Maybe I'll rent an audio book from the library and play it while I clean. I'm a genius!

Escape

2005-05-04T02:50:00.000-04:00

I left town tonight for a few hours and I just got back. I was supposed to stay in the library and study and then get to bed early since I have to be at work at 8am but I must say that the escape was very nice and totally worth being tired tomorrow for. I miss driving.

Everyone and everything has been pissing me off lately. I'm even lashing out at my best friends. The stress of finals is really getting to me. Yesterday I started crying and couldn't stop. I was crying of relief for getting through my 48 hours of hell. I know it's a weird reaction, but I can't help it. It is how my body physically expresses relief after surviving insane amounts of stress.

I have to remind myself that I do this to myself. I don't blame anyone else, but I also don't ever learn from the past. Yikes!

Well I have to be up for work in 4 hours so maybe I can get some shut-eye.

I think my body is on standby

2005-05-03T02:08:00.000-04:00

That's the only way I can describe it. Because I have done nothing but sit in assorted chairs, study, outline, take tests, and write papers for the last week, that is all my body knows how to do. I walked around the mall today and even that hurt. I can't do anything active, and now I've discovered that I can't sleep either. All I can do is run the systems that are up and I can't seem to shut those down or jumpstart any of the other systems. It is very weird.

My final this morning was less painful than I thought it would be. I managed to identify the issue in the essay but I didn't get the right answer. That was better than some people did, but worse than others. I have decided that multiple choice tests suck. I much prefer essay questions, but only ones that are written well (this one was not). Perhaps it's a good sign that I could identify that it was a poorly written question.

I'm going to try to go to sleep again. Must take body off standby.

And the magic number is...........

2005-05-02T17:12:00.000-04:00

That is the number of credits I have to finish to graduate law school. Next week I'll be finishing 4 more credits and then I'll have only 11. Yay!

Now it is time to go shopping with ABW and blondie. More about the wretchedness that was today is to come.

Why I hate the automatic checkout lanes...

2005-05-01T14:30:00.000-04:00

I was checking out at Wal-Mart today and had a toy with me. The cashier, a tough looking guy, gave me an odd look. I giggled and he said, "I don't judge" but shook his head disapprovingly. I said, "that's not what your look told me" and he responded, "You are who you are."

"You are who you are." That is just about the wisest thing I've heard in a long time.

The 48 hours from hell...

2005-05-01T01:02:00.000-04:00

In the next 36 hours, I have to turn in a take-home exam, a 30 page paper, and take a 3 hour final. I am only about 1/2 done with the paper, haven't started the take-home exam, and do not feel at all prepared for the final. This isn't going to be pretty.

My family law final was fun. I love taking exams. You go in there knowing what you know and this is your opportunity to shine. The more creative you are, the better. I feel like it's a puzzle. It will be framed and hung up, one way or the other, and it is in your control how much of that puzzle will be completed when it's hung up. I imagine that I at least got the general idea across for my family law final, but the next one may be a rather abstract work of art.

The guy at the next table has 3 empty red bull cans lined up on his desk. If I remember correctly, there is a warning label on the can suggesting limiting intake to 2 in 24 hours. Eeeeek! I love red bull. In fact I took one to my family law final and will take another to my next final, but three in one day????

Eeeeek!

2005-04-30T08:34:00.000-04:00

My family law exam starts in 25 minutes. I should go up to the room, look over my outline once more, and try to get into the family law frame of mind, but I'm blogging instead. My prediction for this exam is that my professor, who is preoccupied with same-sex marriage, will ask 3 of 4 questions about same-sex marriage. The hypothetical lesbian couple will try to adopt kids. They'll try to get married. Hell, one even may beat up the other (we talked about abuse and neglect a lot).

I just finished making my "majic decoder ring". I make one for every open-book exam. I take all of the terms in the class that mean something to me, put them into an excel spreadsheet with the corresponding page numbers of my outline, and alphabetize the whole thing. It's like a nifty self-made, self-serving index. It makes me happy and boosts my confidence going in. Only 2 or 3 times has it been extremely helpful.

I wish myself good luck!

Library Update

2005-04-28T23:38:00.000-04:00

Since I have been at the library (since about 4pm) I have gone to talk to my family law professor who said I had "interesting" questions, did some family law outlining, did some criminal procedure reading, won a game of literati against ABW (and she says I always gloat when I beat her - ha!), ate homemade lasagna, discussed cute boys with various friends, and downloaded itunes onto my computer. It's been successful so far. Now if I could just get some more of that 30 page paper done, I'd be set.

It's due Monday and I have 6 pages done and two finals between now and when its due. The ominous feeling is starting to grow, as is the pit in my stomach. Maybe I can get it up to 10 pages before I leave tonight. Okay, let me be realistic; 8 pages.

Sympathy Pains

2005-04-28T15:12:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend sent me this e-mail the other day.

Hey Baby,

Last night i made the horrible mistake of eating right before I went to bed and I had a really messed up nightmare. I had to take some kind of test for which I was completely unprepared. I think that it may have been one of your finals. The test was in two parts which were objective and essay. To worsen the situation there was not enough room in the lecture hall and I was one of the unfortunates who had to take the test outside. Of course the day was quite windy. I spent most of the time chasing papers all around the courtyard. And by the time the professor called "time!" I had finished about one tenth of the exam. If I were to read into this, I'd say that my unconscious was telling me that I'm not working hard enough for the upcoming audition. Ok better get crackin'.

Love you,

Taz

I was highly amused and have to say that I have had nightmares like this about my exams too. I haven't had one yet this semester, but the one I had last semester was so vivid that I actually could feel the pit in my stomach and the adreniline pumping when I woke up.

I talked to my mom today and she was asking about medical school applications. I told her I was going to apply to D.O. schools along with M.D. schools and I think she was surprised. She said that I should not spend time on the D.O. school applications at a sacrafice to the M.D. school applicaitons - like going to D.O. school is beneith me or something. Again, because I am always right, I believe that by applying to D.O. schools, I'm being realistic about my chances of getting into medical school and am trying to open doors so that I have options later. I think she is being too optimistic about this whole medical school thing. It's just like a mom to think that her daughter can do anything. I guess it's a sign of support and love. I'll take it for that and no more.

I'm about to head back to the library where Blondie has reserved me a spot at her table. It's so nice having friends who will take care of you. I should probably stay till closing time tonight, but I'm not sure I want to spend 10 strait hours in the library. No doubt I will post again toward the end of my evening.

Open Tables at the Law Library

2005-04-28T00:28:00.000-04:00

Around finals time there is a shortage of open tables in the law library (not really surprising). Both yesterday and today I was able to go into the library and acquire a table without even spitting on anyone. I'm not sure if that means that I am extremely lucky or that I smell or that people aren't studying as much as they have in the past. I'm hoping for the 3rd possibility because that'll increase my chances of not getting any of the C's.

My work has two offices; one in downtown and one in the burbs and if you were to draw a line between the two, I live at the 3rd point that makes the whole thing an equilateral triangle. Today I had to drive into the city, only to find out that my boss wanted me to work in the burbs. I was annoyed at the waste of gas and the fact that I'm not getting reimbursed for mileage. Maybe one day they'll actually give me my summer work schedule. Slackers!

I don't really work in a legal setting. Well, I don't work with any lawyers. People come into our office and we help them fill out legal forms. Today we had a guy come in. I helped him fill out his forms and he was on his way. 20 minutes later, his adversaries came in. I couldn't help them because of my conflict of interest, but I felt weird even being in the same room while my colleague helped them. I got to see professional responsibility issues first hand and I have to say that the inherent conflict did make my stomach a bit queasy. See, different lawyers in the same firm couldn't have helped adversaries, but because we aren't lawyers, we could. I'm not sure that's really the best policy though, at least for my work.

On a side note, someone called my boyfriend both gay and my husband in the same sentence. I was amused, and grateful that he is neither.

Nails

2005-04-27T02:42:00.000-04:00

Even though it is 3:00 in the morning and I have to be up for work in 4 hours, I am doing my nails. I have this nervous habit of destroying my nails during finals and to try to keep from going through the month and a half long recovery period, I am taking some preventative measures. I bought a $10 cuticle trimmer and have been using it at least once a week. I have also painted my nails with some "Hard as Nails" stuff. Last time I painted my nails, I did so with some color too. Painting the nails serves two purposes. First, the strengthening stuff can keep the nails from breaking and second, I can pick the polish off instead of playing with the cuticles.

Tonight I had gone through 3 days of picking off the polish and so my nail color was sporadic. I have to go to work in the morning and the nails have to look semi decent. Hence the 3:00am salon session.

The point of this post was to say how much I hated the vanity involved with legal work. It seems like it is equally, if not more, important to dress nicely than it is to adequately prepare what comes out of your mouth. It disgusts me and is a highly motivating factor for applying to medical school. Scrubs, Baby! Yee-haw!

Welcome! I'm procrastinating as usual...

2005-04-26T21:26:00.000-04:00

I am a 2L, currently studying for my family law final and wishing that I was done with my 2L year. I am creating this blog to (1) avoid studying family law at all costs (2) keep my sanity after 9 strait hours at the law library and (3) give me something to be excited about. Please share your thoughts with me.

This summer I will be applying to medical school and graduate school because, as the name of my blog indicates, I am additcted to school. Wish me luck, and if you'd like to keep up with my progress and see if I ever get in to another school or ever get sick of school, keep reading.

I'm going to do a bit more formatting and then dive back into my family law book.